“He loves the unwanted, the weak and unloved. He is not just a king and we are the subjects; he is not just a shepherd and we are the sheep. He is a husband and we are his spouse. He is ravished with us—even those of us whom no one else notices.”
― Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters
PSALM 82-84
10Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;(84:10)
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
JOURNAL
It hit me this morning that maybe I have sometimes thought about surrender in the wrong order. I want the Spirit of God to direct my life, change my desires, and guide my steps, but before that can truly happen, something has to be released. The self has to be surrendered first. My plans, expectations, desired outcomes, need for control, and even the version of myself I think I am supposed to become have to be laid down. As long as I am holding tightly to those things, I am still filling the very space I am asking God's Spirit to occupy.
Maybe that is what surrender really is. It isn't asking God to bless my plans or help me reach the outcomes I have already decided are best. It is coming before Him with open hands and saying, "This life is Yours. This day is Yours. I am Yours. Show me what You want to do with it." Then there is room for the Spirit. And when the Spirit begins to fill that space, my desires cannot possibly remain the same. The question begins to change from "What do I want to happen?" to "What is God doing here, today, in this moment, and how can I be part of it?"
The struggle with self will always be there. There will always be a part of me that wants to control the future, protect itself, seek approval, avoid pain, or manufacture a particular outcome. But maybe that struggle is exactly where transformation becomes visible. Every time I surrender those things again, I make room to hear, trust, and follow the Spirit.
That is what I see over and over in Scripture. Those who truly follow God aren't necessarily given easier circumstances or the outcomes they would have chosen. Instead, something changes within them. They persist, obey, love, and somehow find joy in suffering, hope in uncertainty, and peace when circumstances give them every reason to fear. That isn't typical human behavior. It is evidence that something else has taken up residence within them.
First the self must be surrendered. Then there is room for the Spirit. And from that place, a different life begins to emerge.
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