MAY 1, 2026

  “Gratitude looks to the Past and love to the Present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.” 

― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

1 KINGS 1-2

9Adonijah then sacrificed sheep, cattle and fattened calves at the Stone of Zoheleth near En Rogel. He invited all his brothers, the king’s sons, and all the royal officials of Judah, 10but he did not invite Nathan the prophet or Benaiah or the special guard or his brother Solomon.

11Then Nathan asked Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, “Have you not heard that Adonijah, the son of Haggith, has become king, and our lord David knows nothing about it?(1:9-11)...

2“I am about to go the way of all the earth,” he said. “So be strong, act like a man, 3and observe what the Lord your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go" (2:2-3)

LUKE 22:54-71

54Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. 55And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. 56A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”

57But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.

58A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.”

“Man, I am not!” Peter replied.

59About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”

60Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. 61The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” 62And he went outside and wept bitterly.

JOURNAL 

Lately I have been face to face with something that runs deeper than I want to admit: the pull to medicate and the desire to smooth out discomfort without having to walk through it. Addiction is not just about substances; it is about the universal human longing for peace, love, and harmony. We all want that, and when we find a way to feel it instantly without relationship, without effort, and without sacrifice, it becomes incredibly hard to resist. That is where the danger lives, because when we reach for something that gives us relief without requiring anything from us, we are not just escaping pain, we are slowly disconnecting from the very things that produce real joy.

At the same time, not all pleasure is the problem. God created enjoyment, rest, laughter, and even simple pleasures as good gifts. The distinction is not pleasure itself but the role it plays in our lives. Enjoyment that flows out of a healthy life, rooted in love, discipline, and relationship, strengthens us. But pleasure used to escape life, avoid growth, or replace what is real slowly weakens us. It becomes a substitute instead of a supplement, and that is where things begin to unravel.

God did not design us for shortcuts. He designed us so that love, meaningful work, and relationships, especially when they require sacrifice, actually shape us. They change us and even affect us physically. There is a reinforcement that happens in our minds and bodies when we choose what is good instead of what is easy, and that kind of joy does not spike and disappear but steadies and deepens over time. When we chase the chemical version of that feeling, whatever form it takes, we cheat the system, and cheating any system always comes with a cost. At first it feels like freedom and relief, but over time it hollows us out and leaves us shallow, dissatisfied, and searching for more of something that can never truly satisfy.

C.S. Lewis wrote that gratitude looks to the past and love to the present, while fear and desire are always reaching ahead, and that feels especially true when I think about addiction. Addiction pulls us out of the present and promises something better, easier, and immediate, but it never actually delivers life. Real life is found in the present, even when the present is hard. When I read about Adonijah trying to take the throne, I see someone grasping for control and trying to force an outcome instead of trusting God's design. It looked right on the surface, but it was disconnected from truth. In contrast, David’s charge to Solomon was simple: walk in obedience and stay aligned with what is true, trusting that this path, even when it is slower and harder, leads to life.

Peter felt this same tension. In the courtyard, sitting by the fire, faced with fear and pressure, he chose the immediate escape and denied Jesus to avoid pain. In that moment he medicated his fear with self-preservation, and it broke him, not because he was weak but because he stepped outside of truth to find relief. I see that same pattern in myself. Every time I look for a way to feel better that avoids the work of love, the risk of relationship, or the discipline of obedience, I am choosing a shortcut over something real, and it never leads where I hope it will.

The truth is that the present moment is where everything happens. It is where God meets us and where real joy is formed, not in escape or numbing or chasing a feeling, but in staying present, engaged, and connected to what is true even when it is uncomfortable. God is not found in the shortcuts; He is found in the process. He is found in the honest conversation, in the difficult decision, in choosing love when it would be easier to withdraw, and in the discipline of doing what is right when no one is watching. That is where joy lives. It is not loud or instant, but it is real and it lasts.

So today I remind myself that I am not looking for relief that costs me my depth, and I am not chasing peace that requires me to disconnect from truth. I am choosing the kind of life that is built, not manufactured. The kind of joy that comes from God cannot be faked, rushed, or replaced. The easy path will always be there calling for my attention, but I know where it leads, so I will stay here in the present, in the tension, and in the work, trusting that this is where real life begins.

31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
MATTHEW 6:31-3

APRIL 30, 2026

 

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”  

~ Abraham Lincoln

2 SAMUEL 24

17When David saw the angel who was striking down the people, he said to the Lord, “I have sinned; I, the shepherd,^c have done wrong. These are but sheep. What have they done? Let your hand fall on me and my family.”

LUKE 22:46-53

 47While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, 48but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”49When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” 50And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.51But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him.52Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him, “Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? 53Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.”

JOURNAL

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

I remember sitting in a movie theater summer of my senior year in high school watching Dead Poets Society and feeling something wake up in me. It was more than a line from a movie. It was a challenge. A calling. A quiet rebellion against the fear that I was not enough and might never be. That fear of rejection runs deeper than we admit. It shapes decisions, silences courage, and keeps us performing instead of living.

In Tribe, Sebastian Junger writes about the human need to belong and the deep fear of being cast out. That fear has always driven behavior. It pushes people to conform, to prove their worth, to stay inside the lines so they are not left behind. But it also reveals something true. We were made for a tribe. We were made to belong. And more than that, we were made to contribute.

The difference is that we already have a place. We are not striving to earn our way into God’s tribe. We have been brought in. The question is not whether we belong. The question is how we will live because we do.

Seizing the day is not about reckless living or chasing moments. It is about intentional living. It is about waking up aware that this day matters. That this moment matters. That I have been given breath, strength, and opportunity for a reason.

David understood this in a hard way. When he saw the cost of his own failure, he did not deflect or protect himself. He stepped forward and owned it. He placed himself between the consequences and the people he was called to lead. That is what real leadership looks like. That is what real character looks like. Not perfection, but responsibility. Not image, but truth.

Jesus shows the fullness of it. In the moment of betrayal, chaos, and violence, He did not react out of fear. He did not grasp for control. He stood steady. He spoke truth. He healed when others struck. He chose love when darkness pressed in. That is not weakness. That is strength under complete control. That is a life fully surrendered and fully alive at the same time.

This is what it means to seize the day.

It means choosing courage when fear of rejection creeps in.
It means choosing discipline when comfort calls for less.
It means choosing love when it would be easier to protect yourself.

It means living with passion, not apathy.
It means solving problems instead of avoiding them.
It means creating, serving, sacrificing, and stepping into the moments that actually matter.

Power will test all of this. As Abraham Lincoln said, character is revealed when power is given. And power is not just position or authority. It is influence. It is opportunity. It is the ability to act. Every day we are given small forms of power. The question is what we do with them.

Do we use them to protect ourselves, or to serve others?
Do we shrink back to stay accepted, or step forward to live with purpose?

We do not have to live trapped by the fear of being rejected by others. We already belong. And because of that, we are free to live boldly.

Carpe Diem is not about squeezing everything out of life for ourselves. It is about pouring ourselves into what matters most. It is about living each day in a way that reflects who we were created to be.

To live with passion.
To live with discipline.
To live with love.

To seize the day, not for ourselves, but for something far greater.

He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. 4For to be sure, he was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God’s power. 

2 CORINTHIANS 13:3-4

APRIL 29, 2026

    God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

- Reinhold Niebuhr

2 SAMUEL 21-22

31“As for God, his way is perfect:

The Lord’s word is flawless;

he shields all who take refuge in him.

32For who is God besides the Lord?

And who is the Rock except our God?

33It is God who arms me with strength^h

and keeps my way secure.

34He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;

he causes me to stand on the heights.

35He trains my hands for battle;

my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

36You make your saving help my shield;

your help has madeⁱ me great.

37You provide a broad path for my feet,

so that my ankles do not give way.(22:31-37)

LUKE 22:39-46

39Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. 40On reaching the place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not fall into temptation.” 41He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 42“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” 43An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.^c

45When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. 46“Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.”

JOURNAL 

We are not here to drift through life half awake or simply survive the days we are given. We are here to live extraordinary lives. Not extraordinary in the world’s sense of fame or recognition, but extraordinary in purpose, clarity, and impact.

That kind of life does not begin with big moments. It begins in the quiet, daily decisions. Taking care of our bodies so we have the strength to endure and serve. Guarding our minds so they are not shaped by fear, distraction, or lies. Tending to our hearts so they stay soft, honest, and aligned with truth. If we neglect those things, we slowly compromise who we are meant to be before we ever step into what we are meant to do.

From there, life expands outward. We are called to live in passionate obedience. That means loving people when it is inconvenient. It means telling the truth when it would be easier to hide. It means creating, building, solving problems, and stepping into hard things instead of avoiding them. It means sacrifice. It means choosing others over self. It means becoming a steady light in places that feel dark and uncertain.

David understood this near the end of his life. After everything he had seen and accomplished, what mattered most was not his victories but his faithfulness. He recognized that strength, security, and the ability to stand all came from God. His life pointed to a simple truth. Real greatness is formed in dependence, not independence.

Jesus lived that truth perfectly. In the garden, facing unimaginable suffering, He did not run from it. He wrestled honestly, felt the full weight of it, and still chose surrender. He trusted the Father in the moment when trust cost the most. That is what obedience looks like when it is real. It is not easy. It is not comfortable. But it is powerful This is where extraordinary lives are formed. Not in ease, but in surrender. Not in control, but in trust.

We will all face things we cannot change. We will all face moments that require courage. We will all need wisdom to know the difference. And we will all be tempted to take control back instead of placing it in God’s hands. But life opens up when we live one day at a time. When we stay present. When we accept that hardship is not an interruption but part of the path. When we stop trying to force the world into what we think it should be and instead trust God with what is.

If we surrender, not perfectly but willingly, something changes. We begin to experience a quiet steadiness. A grounded joy that is not dependent on outcomes. A life that is not defined by fear or regret but by purpose. We are free, but that freedom is not for self-indulgence. It is for love. It is for service. It is for becoming the kind of people who reflect something greater than ourselves in the way we live.

That is the invitation. Not just to believe differently, but to live differently. To step into each day with intention, courage, and trust. To take care of what has been entrusted to us. To love deeply. To obey fully. And in doing so, to become a light that cannot be hidden.

13You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^a ; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^b

GALATIANS 5:13-14

APRIL 28, 2026

 

“The proud person always wants to do the right thing, the great thing. But because he wants to do it in his own strength, he is fighting not with man, but with God.” 
― Søren Kierkegaard

2 SAMUEL 19-22

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

3my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,

my shield^a and the horn^b of my salvation...

31“As for God, his way is perfect:

The Lord’s word is flawless;

he shields all who take refuge in him.

32For who is God besides the Lord?

And who is the Rock except our God?

33It is God who arms me with strength^h

and keeps my way secure...

50Therefore I will praise you, Lord, among the nations;

I will sing the praises of your name. 

LUKE 22:1-38 

24A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. 28You are those who have stood by me in my trials. 29And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me, 30so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

31“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” 

JOURNAL

Yesterday I wrote about how regret can paralyze us. How it reaches back into the past and convinces us that who we were is still who we are, draining the life out of the present. But the same is true of worry and fear about the future. Instead of being trapped by what has already happened, we become trapped by what might happen.

At the root of both is the same issue. We doubt God. We do not fully trust that whatever tomorrow holds is already held by Him. We try to carry what was never ours to carry. Yet we are reminded that God is a rock, a fortress, a deliverer, a place of refuge. His way is perfect and He shields those who take refuge in Him. If that is true, then our fear is not about circumstances as much as it is about trust.

When we do not trust, we begin to take control. We attempt to predict outcomes, manage risks, and protect ourselves from pain. That weight shows up as anxiety, hesitation, and eventually inaction. We shrink back. We avoid stepping forward. Fear convinces us that movement is dangerous. And before long, we are no longer living freely but managing outcomes.

This is exactly where pride quietly slips in. The proud person wants to do the right thing, the great thing, but to do it in his own strength. That mindset puts us in a position we were never meant to occupy. It is not just a struggle with circumstances. It is a struggle with God.

We see this so clearly in the disciples. At the very moment when everything is about to change, when Jesus is about to be arrested and crucified, they are arguing about who is the greatest. Instead of recognizing what is right in front of them, they are consumed with position, status, and control. Jesus responds by flipping their understanding upside down. The greatest is not the one who takes, but the one who serves. True strength is not found in asserting control but in surrendering it.

Even Peter, full of confidence, insists that he is ready for anything. Yet he is warned that he will fail. Not because he lacks passion, but because he is relying on himself. His story reminds us that strength is not found in self confidence but in dependence.

And this is where both regret and worry lose their power. When we live in regret, we diminish the present. When we live in fear, we abandon it. In both cases, we miss what is right in front of us. We miss the invitation to live fully today.

There is a reason we are warned that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. Pride tells us we must carry yesterday and control tomorrow. Humility releases both. It acknowledges that we are not God and do not need to be.

The invitation is simple. Trust Him with tomorrow. Lay it down and leave it there. Step into today with open hands. Move forward, take action, love people, and do the work in front of you without trying to secure the outcome.

Because when we release tomorrow, we recover today. And when we recover today, joy returns.

18Pride goes before destruction,

a haughty spirit before a fall.

 Proverbs 16:18

APRIL 27, 2026

“Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.” 

― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

2 SAMUEL 17-18

31Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against you.”

32The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”

The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.”

33The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”^g(18:31-33)

LUKE 21:1-19

10Then he said to them: “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. 11There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven.

12“But before all this, they will seize you and persecute you. They will hand you over to synagogues and put you in prison, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. 13And so you will bear testimony to me. 14But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. 16You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. 17Everyone will hate you because of me. 18But not a hair of your head will perish. 19Stand firm, and you will win life.

JOURNAL 

Regret has a way of pulling me backward into moments I cannot change, and if I stay there too long it begins to distort everything about who I am today. It whispers that my past mistakes define me, that I am disqualified, that I should shrink back instead of stepping forward. Over time, that voice can become so loud that it doesn’t just revisit the past, it starts sabotaging the present. I hesitate, I hold back, I pass on opportunities because somewhere deep down I feel unworthy of them.

The danger is not just the pain of remembering, it is what that pain convinces me to do now. Regret can become a quiet form of surrender. Instead of living fully, I begin protecting myself from the risk of failing again. Instead of embracing what is in front of me, I live as if the best parts of my life are already behind me. And in doing so, I unknowingly trade the richness of today for the shadow of yesterday.

This past weekend at our 30th anniversary of the Chili Pepper golf tournament with my fraternity brothers brought that truth into clear focus. It was an amazing weekend, the kind you wish you could bottle up and keep. What struck me most was not just the laughter or the stories, but the overwhelming sense of acceptance. Looking around, I realized every one of us carries regrets. Every one of us has things we would change if we could. And yet none of that diminished the moment. If anything, it deepened it.

Often, I have let regret shape how I see the present. I have let it discolor what is right in front of me instead of seeing it in the fullness and beauty of what is true. This weekend reminded me that the richness of life is not found in perfection, but in the shared understanding that none of us are perfect. The joy we experienced was not because we lived flawless lives, but because we showed up as we are, fully known, with all our failures, mistakes, sins, and imperfections, and still chose to love each other.

When I live in regret, I minimize the wonder that still exists right in front of me. I miss the beauty of ordinary moments, the opportunities to love, to grow, to show up with courage. Joy cannot survive in a heart that is constantly looking backward with condemnation. And when joy fades, something much heavier takes its place. It becomes easier to drift into discouragement, then into despair, and from there into a kind of internal darkness that touches every part of life.

But this weekend reminded me that who I am today is not erased by where I have been. Growth, wisdom, resilience, and even compassion are often born out of the very things I regret. If I allow it, the past can refine me instead of define me. It can shape how I live now without stealing my ability to live now. In a strange way, even the regrets have added color and depth to who we all are. To remove them would be to flatten the very richness that made the weekend so meaningful.

There is freedom in choosing to stand in the present without carrying the full weight of yesterday’s judgment. When I do that, I begin to recover joy. And joy changes everything. It restores perspective, it brings energy back into my steps, and it reconnects me to purpose. Instead of shrinking, I engage. Instead of hiding, I step forward. Instead of surrendering to regret, I begin to live again with intention and gratitude for what is still in front of me.

 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

JOHN 10:10