Kicking and Screaming...not that there is any real relevance to the movie, except for that's how I would describe my life as a believer. I've been a pretty pathetic version of the ideal. Most of my life I've spent in this weird, dysfunctional relationship with the almighty. Dysfunctional...obviously on my part. Simply, I've been a spoiled brat, wanting things my way, pouting when I don't get them and then shifting blame to anything other than myself when I am questioned. Yet God still shows up, still blesses my life, still calms me down and tends to my raging with grace and love.
3 years ago I started getting a daily text from a man I did not know and had never met. It was a verse and a short description and always signed, "God loves you! So do I! Make it a great day!". I thought it was a nice gesture, yet never really expected it to continue. I figured, of course operating out of my own failures and sin, that it would eventually stop...it never did and has continued to this day. Every single day, at some point in the morning, the word of God was sent to me with a reminder of God's love and the faithful love of an unknown man. He has never failed or missed...in over 3 years.
One of the ways God has continued to speak to me has been through reading his word. I have a one year plan in the Bible my wife gave to me 23 years ago. There were several years when I was diligent in reading everyday. It was a blessing and always forced me to deal with scripture. Many times it was a struggle and yet there always was a challenge, an encouragement and a deeper understanding of God. Yet my flesh eventually won out and I stopped consistently reading. A couple of months ago, I started reading again...a couple of weeks ago God spoke to me very clearly..."you are to do this everyday and share your thoughts". I resisted...I thought of every reason and excuse as to why that would be a bad idea, most prominent was "who am I to do this?" I thought of all my sin and all the ways that I have not been obedient. I thought of my own hypocrisy and yet again God said "do it".
So 3 days ago I began. Kicking and Screaming but I obeyed. I do not know if this will benefit anyone. It is not for me to analyze or rationalize. I do know that out of this obedience God has begun to reveal more and require more...yes my fear. God though reminds me with a verse that has haunted my life for the past 25 years "For God does not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
Who knows where this will go or what God will do...its not for me, Thank GOD, to decide. So in the words of my unknown friend....
God loves you! So do I! Make it a great day!
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