“To be in Christ -- that is redemption; but for Christ to be in you -- that is sanctification!”
― W. Ian Thomas
PROVERBS 25-27
The results never really lie...
19As water reflects the face,
so one’s life reflects the heart. (27:19)
Count the cost...
3We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. 4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
I am struck this morning with how weak my obedience often is. Reading of Paul's encouragement to the Corinthians I realize how trivial I have made my own walk with Christ. I have sought often to use God, not to truly follow him. I have hoped in him in order to make my circumstances better rather than following him completely and because I love him and because he loves me. I think that every day I am seeing more and more how I fail to obey and how I fail to love and fail to surrender. This is part of the process to strip me of all pretense and to bring me closer into his presence. I have been a fool so many times. I have at times played a part and done things to give the appearance of surrender...I have talked about it and written about it and acted like it...yet there are many times when I back away and don't fully surrender.JOURNAL
I sought acceptance and love from people rather than selling out completely to love from God. I have sought comfort and immediate gratification. I have used other peoples mistakes as a way to compare myself and affirm myself through judgement. I have craved affirmation and sought it ways that are deplorable. I have not been content to receive Gods' love as my pure source of love and confidence. Rather I have sought acceptance through others. I am a big mess, yet it is in this mess that I cry out to God. It is in this state of despair that God comes and comforts my wandering, empty heart. I have acted dishonorably and selfishly. I have manipulated and misled and justified all my actions from a state of anger and contempt.
I have looked at others and cast judgement. I have hated and been jealous and led in terrible ways. I have been slothful and hoped for riches as a way to rescue me from my own laziness. When I honestly look at myself and all of my sin, I realize how disgusting it all must be laid before God. I realize how my own righteousness is twisted and wretched and full of anger and hate and selfishness. I have been such a fool, I have failed over and over again. Yet I also can see that there is another spirit working within me thatYet there is a God that is willing to forgive all of that, there is a God that is willing to embrace me in my despair and is willing to die for me in my wickedness. There is a God that is willing to embrace me after I have rejected him, dismissed him, used him and crucified him. What love is this that can go into the deep depths of my own sin and take all my arrows of hate and sin and still embrace me in his perfect pure love? It is the love of God, it is the power of pure, perfect love...love that drives out all sin, love that steps into the sickness and darkness and takes it all and returns pure and perfect love.
I look back and then look at the day looming before me and it feels impossible. How do I do this? How do I live sold out and surrendered to God? The answer is I can only take it moment by moment. Every decision, every encounter, every text, every phone call, every email. I seek him and respond in obedience. I quit trying to control situations and circumstances, I simply face them as they are and as I am. I trust that God's way will always be better even though it may be more painful. I trust God's way even though it may cause strife and disappointment and heartache. I trust God's way even though it may cause my situation to get worse. This is my calling as a believer, this is the choice I face. Do I trust God? Am I willing to follow even if it means things will get harder, even if it means things will get worse? This is "narrow way" this is what Christ meant when he said count the cost.
25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. 27And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’
31“Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.
34“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? 35It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.
“Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”
LUKE 14:25-35
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