SEPTEMBER 21, 2018

“When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” 
― C.S. Lewis, On Stories: And Other Essays on Literature

SONG OF SOLOMON 1-3

5Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you

by the gazelles and by the does of the field:

Do not arouse or awaken love

until it so desires. (3:5)

2 CORINTHIANS 12

 Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

JOURNAL 

As human beings...there are certain struggles we have. Because of the complexity of our brains and our ability to create, reason, analyze, plan etc we have enormous abilities. These abilities however sometimes become confused with basic emotions and modes of survival.

In my own life I have forced things I didn't need to force. I have run from things I really needed to face. I have lashed out when I needed to calmly assess. I have smoothed over when I needed to confront. I have hated when I needed to love. I have been stubborn when I needed to forgive.

Most all of these errors in behavior and judgement came out of misunderstood fear and anxiety. They actually came out of an immature childish response to adult problems. I learned at Onsite last year that these patterns of behavior are established when we are young and we will automatically resort to them unless we can recognize them...calm the emotions and then reason through the better response.

However there are really good things about the childish part of us...the wonder of learning, the purity of love and the freedom to own thoughts and emotions. What needs nurturing is the wounded child inside that is fearful to actually be a child and embrace all the wonders that entails. Jesus tells us to come to him as children.

God is my key to becoming calm and then reasoning through the better response. God is my constant, it is where I can go to calm the anxiety and fear and be affirmed of my abilities and talents. God is where I can go to heal the wounds of childhood and emerge, wiser, fresher and with the openness to see all the blessings of my life.

1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

1 PETER 2:1-3

SEPTEMBER 20, 2018

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

ECCLESIASTES 10-12

4If a ruler’s anger rises against you,

do not leave your post;

calmness can lay great offenses to rest. (10:4)

2 CORINTHIANS 11:16-33

 I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. 24Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, 26I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false believers. 27I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. 28Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches.

JOURNAL 

Here Solomon confirms that staying calm and enduring anger is the path to resolution. Also Paul tells of all his sufferings in order to make the point that it is in the suffering that dependence on God is developed. It is in the conflict that strength is born. It is in the conflict that love is proven.

It is tempting to believe that the goal of life is security and pleasure. Yet everything in scripture confirms the opposite. Is this not the reason that we love athletics...they let us see the dilemma of life play out in front of our very eyes. Conflict and opposition are what create passion, excitement, teamwork and a sense of purpose. Working through the inevitable difficulties is the really good stuff. There is no hiding from missed field goals, interceptions, penalties, strikeouts, mistakes, injuries etc. The conflict is there and we watch as the participants deal with it. To engage and play is the only way to get better, it is the only way to really learn.

It is the same in life. Stepping into the fire, into the opportunities for failure and the inevitable difficulties of life is the key to living. It forces me to solve problems, use my talents and deepens my dependence on God and his wisdom.  It will also serve as a way to teach my boys and be a source of encouragement for those who go after me.

Taking all of this in and really processing it over the last few days, especially in the midst of great blessing, has again helped me to see that every single moment is precious. Life is not about reaching a destination, it's about living all the moments that lead to the ultimate destination. It's about living them with purpose, passion and a sense of humility realizing that to live on this earth as a human is an incredible opportunity and blessing, one that should never be taken for granted.

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

ROMANS 12:1-2

SEPTEMBER 19, 2018

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” 
― Maya Angelou

ECCLESIASTES 7-9

7Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. 8Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom. (9:7-10)

2 CORINTHIANS 11:1-15

12And I will keep on doing what I am doing in order to cut the ground from under those who want an opportunity to be considered equal with us in the things they boast about. 13For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. 14And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. 15It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

JOURNAL 

To read these verses in Ecclesiastes is sobering. To think that I may not have tomorrow and my time on earth is ticking away somehow hits me like cold water in the face. Why do I think that I am guaranteed anything other than this moment. I am not, it can all end in a flash and have I really made the most of this moment? Have I really lived it fully, or have I spent it in regret over yesterday and in worry over tomorrow? Have I spent it comforting myself or protecting myself from the realities of life? If the answer is any of these then my moment was wasted.

Love is an action, love is doing something, not sitting around pondering. Love risks, love bleeds...love does not waste time protecting itself. Love gives and nurtures and is willing to risk rejection and heartache and embarrassment just to connect and give to someone else.

There also is a point in living in the moment that I am not to berate myself for failures. Failures are necessary for learning. I will fail every day...therefore I will learn everyday. Really also failures are relative. Give myself permission to enjoy the day...to have fun, to turn this day and work into something memorable, good, light and loving. That is trusting God...that where I am, the life I'm living is not a mistake but rather God's sovereign will.

14What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

JAMES 2:14-17

SEPTEMBER 18, 2018

"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
― 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7

ECCLESIASTES 4-6

10Whoever loves money never has enough;

whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.

This too is meaningless.

11As goods increase,

so do those who consume them.

And what benefit are they to the owners

except to feast their eyes on them? (5:10-11)

2 CORINTHIANS 10

17But, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”^b18For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.

JOURNAL 

All of life is about learning to become content with who we are, who God is and coming to terms with what we offer the world. The one thing that we can always give regardless of talent or ability is love. To care for others and give them the love that we receive from God is the greatest blessing in life.

Yet what usually trips me up is when I start doubting God's love, and begin to look to man for validation and affirmation. It is such a losing game. For people can never love the way we want them to love. When I start venturing down this path...everything becomes tainted and grey. Yet when I am in the middle of God's love for me...everything is bright and alive and I feel a power and joy that really cannot be replaced.

I think this is why 1 Corinthians 13 and the description of love is so important. Not only can I look to it and see how miserably I fail to love in this way. But I also can look at it and realize that this kind of love is beyond the human race. It is truly Godly and only in God can we receive and give anything close to this capacity.  I can therefore let other humans off the hook to provide this for me. The tastes we get with each other are only because God is part of it.  It is only because he is working in and through us.

When I think about Jesus and the fact that he was the most loving, perfect human being to ever live and yet he was betrayed, questioned, spit on and abandoned. How can I ever expect to look to mankind to receive affirmation and validation when mankind failed so miserably in even giving it to Jesus. What I can do though is to seek God and his love and once accepted I can love and can give that love away. In doing so I can then recognize when another person is filled with this love. I can then connect in ways that brings us into the presence and fellowship of God. This is the church and it has nothing to do with a building or an alter or a choir...yet in this the miracle and holiness of God is experienced. It can be found anywhere that two human beings experience and connect in the love and grace of Christ.

20For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

MATTHEW 18:20

SEPTEMBER 17, 2018

“Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” 
― Edwin Hubbell Chapin

ECCLESIASTES 1-3

9What do workers gain from their toil? 10I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet^a no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. (3:9-13)

2 CORINTHIANS 9

6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 9As it is written:

“They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;

their righteousness endures forever.”^a

10Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. 11You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

JOURNAL 

Mankind was never created to live apart from God. This is so clear from all of scripture. To try and create life and meaning and purpose apart from God is absolutely foolish and senseless. We are fallible beings that have the same fate as animals...we live and die, our external bodies waste away and are here today and gone tomorrow, therefore, our hope can never be in physical things. It can never exist in houses or jobs or cars or wealth or even flesh and blood...our hope is in a spiritual eternal kingdom that gives us happiness and hope in living out the love and promises of God.

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

EPHESIANS 6:10-17