“God is not an employer looking for employees. He is an Eagle looking for people who will take refuge under his wings. He is looking for people who will leave father and mother and homeland or anything else that may hold them back from a life of love under the wings of Jesus.”
GENESIS 31-32
JOURNAL
Today is the adventure.
Not the big moment out in the distance, not the day when everything finally makes sense, not the season when life becomes easier and less complicated. The adventure is living this day with all its weight, responsibilities, interruptions, emotions, and uncertainty and still choosing to be present inside it.
Jacob wrestling with God has always fascinated me because it feels so human. He isn’t calm and heroic. He’s scared. He’s conflicted. He’s carrying a history of manipulation and fear and survival. Yet in the middle of that mess, he doesn’t run. He doesn’t hide. He wrestles. He stays. He holds on. And somehow, in that struggle, God isn’t repelled by him. God meets him.
That’s what’s so striking. Jacob is not the kind of person you would expect to be chosen. He’s always scheming, always anxious, always trying to control outcomes. Honestly, he irritates me. He seems like the kind of guy who causes problems and then plays the victim when consequences show up. And yet God blesses him.
That’s where my story lines up with his. Because I don’t like it when life feels uncertain. I don’t like it when I can’t predict outcomes. I don’t like it when circumstances don’t cooperate with my plans. And when those things happen, my first instinct is to judge. I judge myself, I judge other people, I judge God, I judge the situation. I act like I’m entitled to a smoother path because I’m trying hard. But the truth is, I’m not called to control everything. I’m called to trust.
That’s why Jesus’ words about loving Him more than father, mother, son, or daughter have always been difficult. At face value, they sound harsh. But I don’t think Jesus is telling us to love our families less in a cold, detached way. I think He’s telling us that when anything, even good things, takes the place of God, it begins to crush us.
Family is a gift, but family was never meant to be my God. My kids were never meant to carry the weight of my identity. My wife was never meant to be my savior. My work was never meant to be my worth. When I ask created things to fulfill what only the Creator can fulfill, everything gets distorted. Love turns into pressure. Responsibility turns into fear. Blessings turn into burdens.
But when God is in His rightful place, everything changes.
Today becomes full of purpose. Not because everything is easy, but because I’m not alone in it. There is truly enough opportunity within this day to grow, to repent, to encourage, to serve, to lead, to listen, to forgive, to be patient, to be courageous, to be disciplined, to be joyful. There is enough in today to love the people God has put in my path in a way that reflects Him.
And because of that, I really don’t have time to worry about tomorrow.
Worry steals today’s strength. Worry rehearses pain that may never come. Worry makes me live in a future that God has not asked me to carry yet. But today is where obedience happens. Today is where faith becomes real. Today is where love is expressed, not imagined.
The greatest gift I can give to God is not perfection. It’s surrender.
Because when I surrender, my goal shifts. My life stops being about what I can get out of circumstances, and starts becoming about what I can give inside them. And what I can give is the best version of me. Humble, honest, disciplined, grateful, awake, present. Fueled by the love of God that I didn’t earn and will never deserve.
Jacob walked away limping, but he also walked away blessed. Marked. Changed. And I think that’s how it works for me too. God doesn’t always remove the struggle, but He uses it to transform me. And that transformation is not just for me. It’s for everyone I love, because the best way I can love them is by becoming whole in God.
And the reason I can trust this process is the same reason Jacob could keep holding on. God is faithful.
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Today is the adventure.
Not the big moment out in the distance, not the day when everything finally makes sense, not the season when life becomes easier and less complicated. The adventure is living this day with all its weight, responsibilities, interruptions, emotions, and uncertainty and still choosing to be present inside it.
Jacob wrestling with God has always fascinated me because it feels so human. He isn’t calm and heroic. He’s scared. He’s conflicted. He’s carrying a history of manipulation and fear and survival. Yet in the middle of that mess, he doesn’t run. He doesn’t hide. He wrestles. He stays. He holds on. And somehow, in that struggle, God isn’t repelled by him. God meets him.
That’s what’s so striking. Jacob is not the kind of person you would expect to be chosen. He’s always scheming, always anxious, always trying to control outcomes. Honestly, he irritates me. He seems like the kind of guy who causes problems and then plays the victim when consequences show up. And yet God blesses him.
That’s where my story lines up with his. Because I don’t like it when life feels uncertain. I don’t like it when I can’t predict outcomes. I don’t like it when circumstances don’t cooperate with my plans. And when those things happen, my first instinct is to judge. I judge myself, I judge other people, I judge God, I judge the situation. I act like I’m entitled to a smoother path because I’m trying hard. But the truth is, I’m not called to control everything. I’m called to trust.
That’s why Jesus’ words about loving Him more than father, mother, son, or daughter have always been difficult. At face value, they sound harsh. But I don’t think Jesus is telling us to love our families less in a cold, detached way. I think He’s telling us that when anything, even good things, takes the place of God, it begins to crush us.
Family is a gift, but family was never meant to be my God. My kids were never meant to carry the weight of my identity. My wife was never meant to be my savior. My work was never meant to be my worth. When I ask created things to fulfill what only the Creator can fulfill, everything gets distorted. Love turns into pressure. Responsibility turns into fear. Blessings turn into burdens.
But when God is in His rightful place, everything changes.
Today becomes full of purpose. Not because everything is easy, but because I’m not alone in it. There is truly enough opportunity within this day to grow, to repent, to encourage, to serve, to lead, to listen, to forgive, to be patient, to be courageous, to be disciplined, to be joyful. There is enough in today to love the people God has put in my path in a way that reflects Him.
And because of that, I really don’t have time to worry about tomorrow.
Worry steals today’s strength. Worry rehearses pain that may never come. Worry makes me live in a future that God has not asked me to carry yet. But today is where obedience happens. Today is where faith becomes real. Today is where love is expressed, not imagined.
The greatest gift I can give to God is not perfection. It’s surrender.
Because when I surrender, my goal shifts. My life stops being about what I can get out of circumstances, and starts becoming about what I can give inside them. And what I can give is the best version of me. Humble, honest, disciplined, grateful, awake, present. Fueled by the love of God that I didn’t earn and will never deserve.
Jacob walked away limping, but he also walked away blessed. Marked. Changed. And I think that’s how it works for me too. God doesn’t always remove the struggle, but He uses it to transform me. And that transformation is not just for me. It’s for everyone I love, because the best way I can love them is by becoming whole in God.
And the reason I can trust this process is the same reason Jacob could keep holding on. God is faithful.
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