“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”
― C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer
“Look at Jesus. He was perfect, right? And yet he goes around crying all the time. He is always weeping, a man of sorrows. Do you know why? Because he is perfect. Because when you are not all absorbed in yourself, you can feel the sadness of the world. And therefore, what you actually have is that the joy of the Lord happens inside the sorrow. It doesn’t come after the sorrow. It doesn’t come after the uncontrollable weeping. The weeping drives you into the joy, it enhances the joy, and then the joy enables you to actually feel your grief without its sinking you. In other words, you are finally emotionally healthy.”
― Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering
“Look at Jesus. He was perfect, right? And yet he goes around crying all the time. He is always weeping, a man of sorrows. Do you know why? Because he is perfect. Because when you are not all absorbed in yourself, you can feel the sadness of the world. And therefore, what you actually have is that the joy of the Lord happens inside the sorrow. It doesn’t come after the sorrow. It doesn’t come after the uncontrollable weeping. The weeping drives you into the joy, it enhances the joy, and then the joy enables you to actually feel your grief without its sinking you. In other words, you are finally emotionally healthy.”
― Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering
PSALM 41-43
5Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.(43:5)
ACTS 24
22Then Felix, who was well acquainted with the Way, adjourned the proceedings. “When Lysias the commander comes,” he said, “I will decide your case.” 23He ordered the centurion to keep Paul under guard but to give him some freedom and permit his friends to take care of his needs.
24Several days later Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish. He sent for Paul and listened to him as he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus. 25As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, “That’s enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.” 26At the same time he was hoping that Paul would offer him a bribe, so he sent for him frequently and talked with him.
27When two years had passed, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus, but because Felix wanted to grant a favor to the Jews, he left Paul in prison.
JOURNAL
Reading through the Psalms...it almost seems like David is an emotional mess. He seems to be in both anguish and then a verse later in praise of God. It is like a ping pong match of emotions...back and forth from one extreme to the other. It is so personal that it is almost disturbing.
From the outside perspective Paul seems to be in complete and total control, yet when I read his letters I see a different side. One who also struggles with his emotions, fears and "thorn in the flesh".
I guess the truth is that David's vulnerability makes me uncomfortable. I don't like seeing that he struggles with his emotions. I want to see him be confident and strong and in control. I want to believe that surrender and obedience to God will mean a life of complete control and joy. I don't want to see David be human I want to see him be Godlike...and there it is. There again is the fault in our stars, I don't want to deal with the struggle and the emotional mess of being human. I want to be above that, I want control, I don't want to have to submit to God in weakness.
Yet God is what soothes our emotional pain, our struggles, the spirit comes to us in our sin and our failures. Jesus struggled and cried out to God in emotional pain. Although we have the spirit it does not make us immune from struggle. I am safe to say that it will always exist. The difference is that surrender to God gives me an antidote...it may not come immediately but as I see with Jesus and with Paul it does come and it will sustain me.
From the outside perspective Paul seems to be in complete and total control, yet when I read his letters I see a different side. One who also struggles with his emotions, fears and "thorn in the flesh".
I guess the truth is that David's vulnerability makes me uncomfortable. I don't like seeing that he struggles with his emotions. I want to see him be confident and strong and in control. I want to believe that surrender and obedience to God will mean a life of complete control and joy. I don't want to see David be human I want to see him be Godlike...and there it is. There again is the fault in our stars, I don't want to deal with the struggle and the emotional mess of being human. I want to be above that, I want control, I don't want to have to submit to God in weakness.
Yet God is what soothes our emotional pain, our struggles, the spirit comes to us in our sin and our failures. Jesus struggled and cried out to God in emotional pain. Although we have the spirit it does not make us immune from struggle. I am safe to say that it will always exist. The difference is that surrender to God gives me an antidote...it may not come immediately but as I see with Jesus and with Paul it does come and it will sustain me.
25But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
JAMES 1:25
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