“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”
― Brené Brown
PSALM 109-111
17I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. 18For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.
JOURNAL
Doing this consistently over the past couple of years has been difficult. But as with most things in my life...difficulty reveals blessings never imagined. The blessings are not money or success. They are nothing tangible. The outside world most likely would never know the difference. While that would have seemed disappointing to me on the outset...it is the farthest thing from disappointing.
So what are the blessings? They are hard to define. While centering me on God has definitely had a calming effect on the struggles that I face day to day. It is really more the little things than the more obvious. If I had to define it...it boils down to pausing first...rather than reacting.
To pause and consider God in the midst of the day to day rhythms of life is such a blessing. It is not natural for me and the more it happens the better I am getting at becoming more intentional and conscious in it's application. Reading through the Bible each day has also made me more aware of how difficult life is living as a human. It is a bit shocking but also a relief to see that not one individual in the Bible EVER had their "shit" together. They all struggled, they all anguished over decisions and many made horrendous awful choices. I include Jesus in the former not the later because compared to the pharisees and how his life ended...society would say he was a screwup and a failure. His life didn't measure up as a "success". Yet it was perfect.
To really let that sink in and embrace it has allowed me to more often make decisions and respond in ways that I feel good about and that I know that are closer in line with the heart of God. Life is always throwing circumstances and situations of which I am never fully prepared...so to have the ability to pause and consider my response and then measure that with what I am learning of God is beyond valuable. It is life-changing. This is not to say that I've got it all figured out...because the other thing that I am learning is how far off the mark I tend to stray.
Yet being able to pause, seek God's heart and wisdom and feel and know that his love is unconditional brings such peace. No matter the outcome, no matter whether or not my response is successful or a major failure, to engage knowing that I ultimately fall into the arms of God is the greatest blessing. It is what can bring peace in the midst of heartache and it is definitely what makes the joys of life so much sweeter.
Writing this and leaving it out there for my family and whoever else stumbles upon it at times feels wrong, and crazy and somewhat silly. However I know and I really do believe that ultimately it is a good thing. For I firmly believe we are here to connect, not "succeed", love not "win", engage not hide and give not accumulate. If it just helps one person to know that they aren't alone and encourages them to rest in the love of God, then it's worth it.
LUKE 22:42-44
So what are the blessings? They are hard to define. While centering me on God has definitely had a calming effect on the struggles that I face day to day. It is really more the little things than the more obvious. If I had to define it...it boils down to pausing first...rather than reacting.
To pause and consider God in the midst of the day to day rhythms of life is such a blessing. It is not natural for me and the more it happens the better I am getting at becoming more intentional and conscious in it's application. Reading through the Bible each day has also made me more aware of how difficult life is living as a human. It is a bit shocking but also a relief to see that not one individual in the Bible EVER had their "shit" together. They all struggled, they all anguished over decisions and many made horrendous awful choices. I include Jesus in the former not the later because compared to the pharisees and how his life ended...society would say he was a screwup and a failure. His life didn't measure up as a "success". Yet it was perfect.
To really let that sink in and embrace it has allowed me to more often make decisions and respond in ways that I feel good about and that I know that are closer in line with the heart of God. Life is always throwing circumstances and situations of which I am never fully prepared...so to have the ability to pause and consider my response and then measure that with what I am learning of God is beyond valuable. It is life-changing. This is not to say that I've got it all figured out...because the other thing that I am learning is how far off the mark I tend to stray.
Yet being able to pause, seek God's heart and wisdom and feel and know that his love is unconditional brings such peace. No matter the outcome, no matter whether or not my response is successful or a major failure, to engage knowing that I ultimately fall into the arms of God is the greatest blessing. It is what can bring peace in the midst of heartache and it is definitely what makes the joys of life so much sweeter.
Writing this and leaving it out there for my family and whoever else stumbles upon it at times feels wrong, and crazy and somewhat silly. However I know and I really do believe that ultimately it is a good thing. For I firmly believe we are here to connect, not "succeed", love not "win", engage not hide and give not accumulate. If it just helps one person to know that they aren't alone and encourages them to rest in the love of God, then it's worth it.
42“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” 43An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.c
LUKE 22:42-44
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