MAY 26, 2025

   " I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life..."

― Henry David Thoreau

1 CHRONICLES 17-19

7“Now then, tell my servant David, ‘This is what the Lord Almighty says: I took you from the pasture, from tending the flock, and appointed you ruler over my people Israel. 8I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name like the names of the greatest men on earth. 9And I will provide a place for my people Israel and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed. Wicked people will not oppress them anymore, as they did at the beginning 10and have done ever since the time I appointed leaders over my people Israel. I will also subdue all your enemies.(17:7-10)

JOHN 10:1-21

14“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

JOURNAL 

I have always resonated deeply with the words of Henry David Thoreau, who wrote, "I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life." This powerful sentiment captures the essence of truly living—embracing life's fullness without hesitation or regret.

This spirit of boldness and purpose echoes strongly in the scriptures. In 1 Chronicles 17:7-10, God assures David, reminding him, "I took you from the pasture, from tending the flock, and appointed you ruler over my people Israel. I have been with you wherever you have gone...Now I will make your name like the names of the greatest men on earth." God's promise to David underscores His continual presence, His commitment to protection, and His vision for a purposeful life filled with significance.

Similarly, Jesus, in John 10:14-18, embodies this assurance of intentional care and sacrifice when He declares, "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me...I lay down my life for the sheep." Jesus emphasizes that His purpose is clear and intentional—He willingly embraces sacrifice for the benefit of others, calling us into that same clarity of purpose and fearless living.

Reflecting on these verses brings me back to the summer of my senior year in high school when I first watched the film Dead Poets Society. Standing on the edge of uncertainty and apprehension about the future, that film deeply inspired me. It reminded me of the truth that God has intentionally created each of us with unique purpose and significance. My life matters, not by accident but by divine design.

Both scriptural passages reaffirm that we are called not to live timidly but boldly—to dream, to risk, and to seize opportunities courageously. God assures us there is nothing to fear because He is infinitely greater than our struggles or adversaries. He designed us to engage fully with life, to solve problems, and to influence the world positively. Ultimately, He invites us to "seize the day," embracing fully the abundant life He offers rather than letting it pass quietly by.

 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

JOHN 10:10

MAY 25, 2025

  “The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.” 

― Winston S. Churchill

1 CHRONICLES 14-16

 8Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name;

make known among the nations what he has done.

9Sing to him, sing praise to him;

tell of all his wonderful acts.

10Glory in his holy name;

let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.

11Look to the Lord and his strength;seek his face always.34

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

35Cry out, “Save us, God our Savior;

gather us and deliver us from the nations,

that we may give thanks to your holy name

and glory in your praise.”

36Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,

from everlasting to everlasting.

JOHN 9:24-41

35Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

36“Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”

37Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”

38Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.

39Jesus said,^a “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

40Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”

41Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

JOURNAL 

The Pharisees desperately sought to undermine Jesus, unable to conceive that someone outside their ranks could be chosen by God. Their resistance was rooted in arrogance and traditionalism, unable to see beyond their preconceived notions of who the Messiah should be (John 9:24-29).

This resonates deeply, reminding me that God often chooses the most unlikely individuals to achieve extraordinary things—overturning human expectations and norms. David, a shepherd boy turned king, or Peter, a fisherman chosen as an apostle (1 Samuel 16:7; Matthew 4:18-20). Reflecting on this, I recognize my frequent anxiety about future uncertainties. My mind tends to wander into the unknown, seeking comfort in imagined scenarios that have not occurred. Scripture clearly instructs us that worry achieves nothing and distracts from the joy and purpose of today (Matthew 6:34).

Too often, tasks—whether mundane or significant—are approached as obligations rather than opportunities for joy and thanksgiving. Whether reading scripture, exercising, or working, the objective is too frequently completion rather than embracing the moment itself. Yet each day, each moment, is a precious gift from God, worthy of gratitude and enjoyment (Psalm 118:24).

Therefore, the true challenge lies in cultivating gratitude and joy within every circumstance, recognizing God's presence and love in the everyday details of life. By living in this mindful state, I honor God and illuminate His grace in the ordinary moments. Indeed, as Christ said, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last,” underscoring the divine reversal of worldly expectations (Matthew 20:16).

16“So the last will be first, and the first will be last.” 

- MATTHEW 20:16

MAY 24, 2025

 “I see a world on the edge of a blade. Without balance, it will fall.” 

― Victoria Aveyard

1 CHRONICLES 11-13

15Three of the thirty chiefs came down to David to the rock at the cave of Adullam, while a band of Philistines was encamped in the Valley of Rephaim. 16At that time David was in the stronghold, and the Philistine garrison was at Bethlehem. 17David longed for water and said, “Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!” 18So the Three broke through the Philistine lines, drew water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem and carried it back to David. But he refused to drink it; instead, he poured it out to the Lord. 19“God forbid that I should do this!” he said. “Should I drink the blood of these men who went at the risk of their lives?” Because they risked their lives to bring it back, David would not drink it.(11:31-33)

JOHN 9:1-23

1As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

3“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

6After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7“Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

JOURNAL 

These passages from Chronicles highlight the remarkable devotion and courage of David's mighty warriors. David was greatly blessed with skilled and committed individuals who supported him wholeheartedly, enabling him to become the celebrated king he was (1 Chronicles 11:10-14). Intriguingly, David's most profound failures often occurred when he acted in isolation or without proper accountability (2 Samuel 11-12).

In John's Gospel, Jesus healing the blind man illustrates spiritual illumination and the disruption it caused among religious leaders. Their inability to grasp Jesus’ identity as the Messiah stemmed from their rigid expectations focused solely on earthly deliverance rather than spiritual transformation (John 9:13-16).

Balance is a critical theme here—how can I achieve and maintain it in my life? Frequently, I struggle between overestimating my significance or underestimating my value. Scripture reminds me my life is precious, imbued with unique gifts and talents by God (Psalm 139:14), yet fleeting, a mere breath in the grand scheme of eternity (James 4:14). Maintaining proper perspective means continually honoring God while avoiding the pitfalls of pride or self-deprecation.

Achieving balance requires daily, intentional spiritual practices: scripture study, prayer, meditation, and surrendering every circumstance and decision to God (Romans 12:1-2). Without this discipline, I risk veering to unhealthy extremes—either inflated self-importance or diminished self-worth, both spiritually detrimental paths.

David himself struggled with this balance, yet scripture transparently portrays his life, allowing me to see both his failures and God's consistent, redeeming grace (Psalm 51). The apostles faced similar challenges, Peter notably exemplifying the balance between human error and divine restoration (John 21:15-19).

Ultimately, balance is found in closeness to God—relying on His guidance and grace through every trial and triumph. God's redemptive power assures that even my mistakes serve His purpose and bring about spiritual growth (Romans 8:28). This divine gift surpasses any worldly success, offering eternal peace and fulfillment.

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

ROMANS 12:1-2

MAY 23, 2025

 “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” 

― Nelson Mandela

1 CHRONICLES 8-10

13So Saul died because he was unfaithful to the Lord and did not obey the Lord’s instructions; he even tried to conjure up underworld spirits. 14He did not seek the Lord’s guidance, so the Lord killed him and transferred the kingdom to David son of Jesse.

JOHN 8:37-59

48The Judeans replied, “Aren’t we correct in saying that you are a Samaritan and are possessed by a demon?” 49Jesus answered, “I am not possessed by a demon, but I honor my Father – and yet you dishonor me. 50I am not trying to get praise for myself. There is one who demands it, and he also judges. 51I tell you the solemn truth, if anyone obeys my teaching, he will never see death.”

52Then the Judeans responded, “Now we know you’re possessed by a demon! Both Abraham and the prophets died, and yet you say, ‘If anyone obeys my teaching, he will never experience death.’ 53You aren’t greater than our father Abraham who died, are you? And the prophets died too! Who do you claim to be?” 54Jesus replied, “If I glorify myself, my glory is worthless. The one who glorifies me is my Father, about whom you people say, ‘He is our God.’ 55Yet you do not know him, but I know him. If I were to say that I do not know him, I would be a liar like you. But I do know him, and I obey his teaching. 56Your father Abraham was overjoyed to see my day, and he saw it and was glad.”

57Then the Judeans replied, “You are not yet fifty years old! Have you seen Abraham?” 58Jesus said to them, “I tell you the solemn truth, before Abraham came into existence, I am!” 59Then they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out from the temple area.

JOURNAL 

This exchange between Jesus and the religious leaders is compelling. At first glance, some of Jesus' statements seem puzzling. However, I realize that Jesus speaks from a spiritual perspective rather than a purely physical one. He is filled with God's eternal spirit—one that existed before the foundation of the world (John 1:1-3). This spiritual nature is why He claims those who follow His teachings will never truly experience death; the spirit transcends the physical limitations we know (John 11:25-26). The Pharisees misunderstood because their vision was confined to the earthly, expecting a Messiah to deliver them politically from Roman oppression (Luke 17:20-21). But Jesus offered spiritual redemption, freeing humanity from the bondage of sin (Romans 6:6-7).

This message remains profoundly relevant today. Often, my own focus gets trapped by worldly concerns rather than spiritual truths (Colossians 3:1-2). Yet, the redemption and kingdom Jesus offers surpass anything temporal. It empowers and inspires me to look beyond immediate struggles and adversities. It gives me courage and endurance because His spirit has already overcome every obstacle (John 16:33). Through His triumph over death and sin, I find strength and hope to persevere through trials, knowing my ultimate victory is assured in Christ (Romans 8:37-39).

9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

 ROMANS 12:9-13

MAY 22, 2025

  “I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, "aw shit, he's up!” 

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

1 CHRONICLES 6-7

31These are the men David put in charge of the music in the house of the Lord after the ark came to rest there. 32They ministered with music before the tabernacle, the tent of meeting, until Solomon built the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem. They performed their duties according to the regulations laid down for them.

33Here are the men who served, together with their sons:(6:31-33)

JOHN 8:21-36

31To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

33They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?”

34Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

JOURNAL 

“Slave to sin.” That phrase hits hard—because it’s true. Not just in the big moral failure kind of way, but in the subtle moments: when I let fear control me, when I snap in frustration, when I internalize rejection or failure as identity. Those are the moments I forget that I’m free. That I have a choice. That I can live free because the Son already made me free.

Reading John 8 reminds me: truth liberates, but only when I hold to it. Not glance at it. Not occasionally agree with it. But hold. Let it shape how I live, think, and respond.

Then I turn to 1 Chronicles and read the list of names—musicians in David’s time. Names I’d usually skim right over. But each one had a story. A life. They served before the presence of God, ministering in music. They weren’t famous. No headlines or miracles attached to their names. But they were faithful. They had a job. They played their part in God’s bigger story.

That speaks to me. Because I spend too much time thinking my life doesn’t matter unless I’m making headlines too. I dwell too much on mistakes, on what could have been, on whether I’ve “done enough.” But maybe the goal isn’t being remembered—maybe it’s being faithful.

A hundred years from now, today’s to-do list probably won’t be remembered by anyone. But it matters to God. It matters to my family. It matters to the people I encounter. And if I wake up every morning resolved to live in such a way that hell takes notice—not because I’m perfect, but because I’m present, surrendered, and standing in truth—then I am part of heaven breaking through on earth.

Every breath is a battleground. Every choice is an opportunity. Every moment is sacred. If those unnamed temple musicians had purpose, then so do I. My story matters—not because I’m the hero, but because I serve the One who is.

Thank you, God, for this breath. For this moment. For the reminder that freedom is not just a feeling—it’s a fight to live in the truth You’ve already given me. Today, I get up in that truth. And I pray the devil does flinch.

Amen.

9“This, then, is how you should pray:

“ ‘Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name,

10your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

11Give us today our daily bread.

12And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

13And lead us not into temptation,^a

but deliver us from the evil one.^b ’

MATTHEW 6:9-13

MAY 21, 2025

  “The only cure for suffering is to face it head on, grasp it round the neck and use it.” 

― Brennan Manning

1 CHRONICLES 3-5

1 Chronicles 5:23–26 tells the sobering story of the half-tribe of Manasseh—brave warriors, renowned men, and respected leaders—who, despite all their earthly strength and standing, fell. They weren’t defeated by a stronger enemy, but by their own unfaithfulness. They prostituted themselves to the gods of the surrounding nations, and in doing so, they lost everything. Their exile wasn’t random—it was the natural consequence of spiritual neglect. God stirred up the spirit of a foreign king to carry them away, and they were scattered to places far from the land of promise. Their downfall came not from a lack of power but from a lack of loyalty.

JOHN 8:1-20

John 8:1–11, on the other hand, offers a sharp and beautiful contrast. A woman, caught in adultery—broken, vulnerable, dragged into public shame—finds herself face to face not with exile, but with mercy. The teachers of the law came seeking judgment. They came wielding the Law, ready to condemn. But Jesus did something unexpected. He did not deny the sin, but He exposed the greater truth: no one standing there was without fault. And rather than wielding power to crush, He used power to restore. He gave her freedom, not just from her accusers, but from the cycle of sin itself. “Then neither do I condemn you… Go now and leave your life of sin.” Grace didn’t ignore the failure—it redefined the future.

JOURNAL 

One of the hardest things I still wrestle with—no matter how far I come—is reading the Bible daily. I hesitate even writing that, but it’s true. Sometimes I sit down and feel this weighty expectation, like I should want it more. There’s a strange resistance in me. It’s rarely the reading itself that stirs frustration—but the anticipation of it, the sense of duty over desire. And yet, almost every time I read, something shifts. It calms me. Grounds me. Not in a magical way, but in a real way—like fog lifting just enough to see the next step.

I’ve realized I need it—not because God demands it, but because without it, I drift. Subtly, almost unnoticeably at first. But then the distractions multiply, the pace quickens, and before I know it, I’ve lost sight of what matters. That’s exactly what happened to the people of Israel. The half-tribe of Manasseh wasn’t weak. On the contrary, they were famous warriors, capable and established. But when they lost their spiritual footing—when they stopped listening—they became vulnerable. Their exile wasn’t a punishment as much as it was a reflection of their distance from God.

And I see that in myself. I can build things—relationships, goals, rhythms—but if I disconnect from the Source, it all starts to feel hollow. Suffering, as Brennan Manning said, isn’t something to be avoided. It’s something we face, grab hold of, and somehow—by grace—use. And often, Scripture is where I face it. In its pages, I see my heart exposed, my habits confronted, my pride brought low. But I also find hope, like that woman in John 8. I find a Jesus who doesn’t flinch at my failures. Who doesn’t play the game of shame, but instead calls me to something better.

Yes, it’s worth noting that this story in John wasn’t found in the earliest manuscripts. But you know what? It feels so true to the character of Jesus that I cannot help but believe it reflects His heart. This story doesn’t just defend a woman—it defends the gospel itself. Jesus doesn’t ask, “Is she guilty?” He asks, “Who among you is without guilt?” And that question levels the room.

There are days I want justice—when I feel wronged or betrayed. But I’m reminded here that Jesus is always aiming for redemption, not just resolution. He’s not interested in blame as much as He is in breaking the cycle. That changes how I look at the people who hurt me. And it changes how I see myself.

Some days, the Word feels like a mirror. Other days, it feels like a lifeline. But no matter how I come to it—begrudging, bored, burdened—it meets me. And I’m reminded again why I need it.

Not because I’m trying to earn anything. But because without it, I forget who I am.

44Then Jesus cried out, “Whoever believes in me does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. 45The one who looks at me is seeing the one who sent me. 46I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. - 

JOHN 12:44-46

MAY 20, 2025

 “We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” 

― Plato

1 CHRONICLES 1-2

The lineage begins...

To Noah’s Sons

1Adam, Seth, Enosh, 2Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared, 3Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech, Noah.

4The sons of Noah:^a

Shem, Ham and Japheth.

JOHN 7:32-53

Jesus causes dissension within the Pharisees...

45Finally the temple guards went back to the chief priests and the Pharisees, who asked them, “Why didn’t you bring him in?”

46“No one ever spoke the way this man does,” the guards replied.

47“You mean he has deceived you also?” the Pharisees retorted. 48“Have any of the rulers or of the Pharisees believed in him? 49No! But this mob that knows nothing of the law—there is a curse on them.”

50Nicodemus, who had gone to Jesus earlier and who was one of their own number, asked, 51“Does our law condemn a man without first hearing him to find out what he has been doing?”

52They replied, “Are you from Galilee, too? Look into it, and you will find that a prophet does not come out of Galilee.”

JOURNAL 

To begin going through the list of all the names at first is a bit like counting sheep. Yet when I really begin to think that each of those names represents a full life. A life of drama and suffering, laughter, tears, joy, hope, disappointment. Then the impact of seeing them on paper becomes overwhelming. To think that all of these people worship the same God. That each of their lives played into the story and that my life is also grafted into that story. God's story of redemption. They laid the foundation of the Kingdom that I am now a part.

Then her in John...the chief priests are beside themselves with dealing with Jesus and what they see as a threat to their way of life and the influence they have over the people. The Pharisees failed to see that what they longed for most in their life was actually standing right in front of them. It is understandable and reminds me that anytime fear begins to have its way in my life then I can look back and realize it's often that I fear losing something. Many times whatever I fear losing has become more important even than God and his love.

I love watching and reading about people who have been successful in an area of their lives. It really cannot be argued that Michael Jordan is one of the greatest to play the game of basketball. One statement made about him from the documentary "The Last Dance" was  "his true gift is that he is able to be fully present in the moment, no matter what that moment is. He doesn't let fear of the past project into the future." Wow...that's a pretty powerful statement and entirely biblical. 

Today is a gift, it is not guaranteed. And because it's not guaranteed, to waste it in worry and fear is to cheapen it. To cheapen a day, even a moment of life is sinful and is giving in to the evil that wants to stamp out love in this world. Jesus died so that I might have life and live that life in gratitude, joy and service to him and others. 


18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 

1 JOHN 4:16-18

MAY 19, 2025

  “When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve.”

 ― Ernest Hemingway

2 KINGS 23-25

Although Josiah's heart is completely committed to God, it does not protect him from death and defeat...

24Furthermore, Josiah got rid of the mediums and spiritists, the household gods, the idols and all the other detestable things seen in Judah and Jerusalem. This he did to fulfill the requirements of the law written in the book that Hilkiah the priest had discovered in the temple of the Lord. 25Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses...

29While Josiah was king, Pharaoh Necho king of Egypt went up to the Euphrates River to help the king of Assyria. King Josiah marched out to meet him in battle, but Necho faced him and killed him at Megiddo. 30Josiah’s servants brought his body in a chariot from Megiddo to Jerusalem and buried him in his own tomb. And the people of the land took Jehoahaz son of Josiah and anointed him and made him king in place of his father.

JOHN 7:1-31

The drama heats up as Jesus becomes a polarizing figure...

1After this, Jesus went around in Galilee. He did not want^a to go about in Judea because the Jewish leaders there were looking for a way to kill him. 2But when the Jewish Festival of Tabernacles was near, 3Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave Galilee and go to Judea, so that your disciples there may see the works you do. 4No one who wants to become a public figure acts in secret. Since you are doing these things, show yourself to the world.” 5For even his own brothers did not believe in him.

6Therefore Jesus told them, “My time is not yet here; for you any time will do. 7The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that its works are evil. 8You go to the festival. I am not^b going up to this festival, because my time has not yet fully come.” 9After he had said this, he stayed in Galilee.

10However, after his brothers had left for the festival, he went also, not publicly, but in secret. 11Now at the festival the Jewish leaders were watching for Jesus and asking, “Where is he?”

12Among the crowds there was widespread whispering about him. Some said, “He is a good man.”

Others replied, “No, he deceives the people.” 13But no one would say anything publicly about him for fear of the leaders.

JOURNAL 

Obedience to God does not guarantee protection from the world and evil. Here Josiah, as a worldly king, has no peer in his dedication and love for God. Yet he is still defeated and killed by Pharaoh. Here Jesus the son of God is being rejected, questioned and conspired against to be killed. Eventually the Jewish leaders would get their way.

Here is a line that must be drawn in the sand of my own faith and spiritual journey. The question is..."why follow?" If the answer is anything that hints of self-protection or wealth or immunity from sickness or suffering then I believe the point and message is entirely missed. My motive reveals my heart and a heart that's sold out to self promotion is a heart that is not sold out to God. 

Now I believe every person on this planet struggles with fully surrendering to God. I think it's at the heart of our sin. Yet I also believe that God permits and allows us to dream and hope and find joy in this world as well. I believe it's why the cross and the message of Jesus is vital to our salvation. We struggle and blow it every day. Yet that's the beauty and the joy of God...he knows and loves us in spite of our failure to love and our failure to obey. Coming to terms with my own failure I must accept that obedience and loving God must be it's own reward. I cannot think of it in terms of what it will get me, but rather what God will do through me. 

Occasionally I go back and watch the clip of Randy Pausch's Final Lecture. It is so inspiring to see a man who is facing his own death and a death that happened way to early, He was a brilliant, kind, amazing man that had so much life to live and give, and yet he wasn't bitter or somber...he was still having fun, still making the most of each day. That's an inpiration that's the way life is to be lived. 

36Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37They were put to death by stoning;^e they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, 40since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. 

- HEBREWS 11:36-40