JULY 23, 2024

 “And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.” 

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

PSALM 38-40

1I relied completely on the Lord,

and he turned toward me

and heard my cry for help.

2He lifted me out of the watery pit,

out of the slimy mud.

He placed my feet on a rock

and gave me secure footing.

3He gave me reason to sing a new song,

praising our God.

May many see what God has done,

so that they might swear allegiance to him and trust in the Lord!(40:1-3)

ACTS 23:12-35

12The next morning some Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves with an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul. 13More than forty men were involved in this plot. 14They went to the chief priests and the elders and said, “We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul. 15Now then, you and the Sanhedrin petition the commander to bring him before you on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about his case. We are ready to kill him before he gets here.”

JOURNAL 

C.S. Lewis said that nearly all of human history; money, war, slavery, ambition, has been the tragic result of man trying to find something other than God to make him happy. And I believe he’s right. We’ve built empires on sand. We’ve traded intimacy with God for control, for applause, for safety, for temporary fixes. But it never works. It never lasts.

And yet somehow God keeps reaching.

Psalm 40 begins with a desperate cry: “I relied completely on the Lord, and He turned toward me and heard my cry.” That’s where the difference lies. Not in our ability, but in His mercy. “He lifted me out of the slimy pit…placed my feet on a rock…and gave me a new song.” That’s not just poetry. That’s deliverance. That’s transformation.

Paul knew this kind of faith. In Acts 23, while conspiracies were being drawn in secret rooms and over clenched fists, more than forty men swearing not to eat until he was dead...Paul remained calm. Not naïve. Not detached. Just grounded. Why? Because he knew who held his future. He didn’t need the world to fix him or save him or validate him. He belonged to Someone greater.

And I see that same quiet courage in the heroes of Scripture, David running from Saul, Daniel in Babylon, Peter standing after denial. They weren’t fearless because they were strong. They were fearless because they were His.

That’s the Spirit I long to live by. The Spirit that gives identity, not fear. The Spirit that whispers, “You are Mine.” Romans 8 makes it plain: “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves...rather, the Spirit brought about your adoption to sonship.” That word, Abba, that’s not theology, that’s intimacy. It’s the sound of a child running into their Father’s arms, even when the world feels like it’s collapsing.

And this is the miracle: I don’t have to earn that kind of belonging. I don’t have to prove myself worthy of that kind of love. I just have to stop searching for happiness in places that can’t give it and return, again and again to the One who lifts me out of the pit.

So today, I ask for that posture of trust. When fear lurks. When criticism echoes. When the world offers glittering distractions and hollow security. I choose to belong not to the story of ambition or fear, but to the story of grace. I am not an orphan striving to survive. I am a son of the King, a co-heir with Christ. And that identity changes everything.

Because if I truly believe that… then even in the pit, I can sing.

14For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.^f And by him we cry, “Abba,^g Father.” 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

ROMANS 8:14-17

JULY 22, 2025

  “For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Jesus Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. When Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened," He assumed we would grow weary, discouraged, and disheartened along the way. These words are a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus. He had no romantic notion of the cost of discipleship. He knew that following Him was as unsentimental as duty, as demanding as love.” 

― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

PSALM 36-37

 39The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

ACTS 23:1-11

6Then Paul, knowing that some of them were Sadducees and the others Pharisees, called out in the Sanhedrin, “My brothers, I am a Pharisee, descended from Pharisees. I stand on trial because of the hope of the resurrection of the dead.” 7When he said this, a dispute broke out between the Pharisees and the Sadducees, and the assembly was divided. 8(The Sadducees say that there is no resurrection, and that there are neither angels nor spirits, but the Pharisees believe all these things.)9There was a great uproar, and some of the teachers of the law who were Pharisees stood up and argued vigorously. “We find nothing wrong with this man,” they said. “What if a spirit or an angel has spoken to him?” 10The dispute became so violent that the commander was afraid Paul would be torn to pieces by them. He ordered the troops to go down and take him away from them by force and bring him into the barracks.11The following night the Lord stood near Paul and said, “Take courage! As you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.”

JOURNAL 

There are days...more than I’d care to admit, when I carry this low-grade ache that somehow, deep down, I’ve disappointed God. That I’ve fallen short too many times, that maybe I’ve missed my chance. But Scripture and the unrelenting grace of Christ says otherwise. It takes a daring kind of trust, a holy defiance even, to believe that Jesus loves me not in spite of my failures, but within them. His love does not flinch. It doesn’t grow cold. It doesn’t wait for me to get it right. He knew I would grow weary. He knew I’d lose heart. That’s why He said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy burdened.” He wasn’t naïve about the cost. He knew love would hurt.

That’s what I saw in Paul today. He’s standing in front of the Sanhedrin, calm, clear, unshaken. He doesn’t manipulate. He doesn’t grovel. He simply tells the truth. And in that moment, all hell breaks loose around him. The crowd erupts. Threats fly. It looks like everything might come undone. But then God shows up, not in power, not in fire, but in presence. “Take courage,” Jesus says to him in the barracks. “As you have testified about Me in Jerusalem, so you must also testify in Rome.”

What strikes me is not Paul’s brilliance, though he has plenty of that...it’s his steadiness. His settled confidence that his life belongs to God. And if that means prison? So be it. If that means testifying in chaos? He’s in. Paul knew something we often forget: that obedience and love are not safe but they are holy.

So what does that mean for me? I’m not standing in front of a council. I’m not staring down soldiers or crowds. My trial looks different, quieter, but no less real. It’s the temptation to coast. To call these days ordinary. To believe the lie that my life is mostly about comfort and survival. That my faith is just a personal benefit rather than a radical call.

But if I believe Scripture...really believe it, then there are no throwaway days. “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; He is their stronghold in time of trouble” (Psalm 37:39). That means today matters. That I’m not just passing time, I’m participating in the Kingdom. Even on a Tuesday. Even in a traffic jam or a hard conversation or a weary prayer. Every small act of obedience, every decision to love when it costs, every moment of courage when fear would be easier, it all counts. These moments become habits. Those habits become a life. That life becomes a testimony.

God isn’t waiting for me to impress Him. He’s inviting me to walk with Him. To live like love actually matters. To trust that even when I don’t see fruit, He’s not wasting the planting.

And yes, following Him might lead to suffering. Scripture doesn’t hide that. Some were sawed in two. Some wandered in caves. “The world was not worthy of them.” But they were commended—not because they were rewarded in this life, but because they believed anyway. They acted in faith, and God called it beautiful.

So today, I will believe that a faithful, quiet life lived in love and obedience to Christ is not a consolation prize, it is the very center of purpose. And if I live that way, then my life...ordinary, broken, unspectacular, becomes an outpost of His Kingdom.

37They were put to death by stoning;^e they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.

39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, 40since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

 HEBREWS 11:37-40

JULY 21, 2025

 “The story goes that a public sinner was excommunicated and forbidden entry to the church. He took his woes to God. 'They won't let me in, Lord, because I am a sinner.'

'What are you complaining about?' said God. 'They won't let Me in either.” 
― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

PSALM 34-35

 18The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (34:18)

ACTS 22

22The crowd listened to Paul until he said this. Then they raised their voices and shouted, “Rid the earth of him! He’s not fit to live!”23As they were shouting and throwing off their cloaks and flinging dust into the air, 24the commander ordered that Paul be taken into the barracks. He directed that he be flogged and interrogated in order to find out why the people were shouting at him like this. 25As they stretched him out to flog him, Paul said to the centurion standing there, “Is it legal for you to flog a Roman citizen who hasn’t even been found guilty?”

JOURNAL 

This morning I woke up in comfort. A soft bed, a cooled home, food in the kitchen, clean water running from the tap. My car waits with a full tank. My phone connects me instantly to people, information, entertainment, and distraction. I live in a country where I am free to worship, speak, create, and move about as I please. I have access to more wisdom, history, and learning than anyone in any previous century could have imagined.

And yet my thoughts so often drift to what I lack.

It’s humbling to admit how quickly my heart forgets. I can list blessings with my lips while my spirit stirs with dissatisfaction. I can thank God in the morning and complain by noon. The tension goes deeper than mood. It echoes the garden, this ache for something more, something now, something just out of reach. I want Eden, but I want it without the waiting, without the thorns.

It’s shocking when I let the truth fully sink in: I am capable of deep selfishness. Not just the mild kind that hoards comfort, but the kind that David himself lived out...lust, deception, manipulation, even orchestrated death. This is the same man called “a man after God’s own heart,” and yet he shattered lives in the wake of his desires. His fall was steep. His sins were real. And still, God did not cast him off.

Instead, God drew near.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

That kind of mercy unsettles me and saves me. Because I know I need it. I know there’s a part of me that tries to keep up appearances while hiding the mess beneath. But the cross says God isn’t looking for appearances. He’s looking for sons and daughters. He’s looking for me.

In Acts 22, Paul stands before an angry crowd ready to kill him. He had done nothing to deserve it. But still, the crowd shouted him down, “Rid the earth of him! He’s not fit to live!” The very people of God had missed the heart of God. They wouldn’t let Paul speak the truth. They wouldn’t let him in.

And yet, this is not a new story. Brennan Manning tells of a sinner kept from church, who cries out to God that he has been barred for being unworthy. God's reply pierces: “They won’t let Me in either.”

This gospel is for the ragamuffin, the exiled, the weary, the shamed. It is not a prize for the polished. It is a homecoming for the prodigal.

When the time was right, God sent His Son...not to condemn me, but to redeem me. To adopt me. To call me His.

Today, I remember who I am; not because I have earned it, but because He has declared it. I am not shut out. I am not too far gone. I am not disqualified.

I am a child.

And the Father is already running down the road.

4But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, 5to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.^b 6Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba,^c Father.” 7So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

 GALATIANS 4:4-7

JULY 20, 2025

 "If you want to figure out the players that will go on to bigger and better things, look at how they fail, in a game of failure. It’s easy to stand tall in baseball when things are going well. But those who stand tall while getting shelled – which happens in baseball often – and shake it off prior to the next outing or at bat, those are likely the players to look for in the multi-tiered stadiums at a later time."

- The Mental Game of Baseball 

PSALM 31-33

16No king is saved by the size of his army;

no warrior escapes by his great strength.

17A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;

despite all its great strength it cannot save.

18But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,

on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,(33:16-18)

ACTS 21:15-40

27When the seven days were nearly over, some Jews from the province of Asia saw Paul at the temple. They stirred up the whole crowd and seized him, 28shouting, “Fellow Israelites, help us! This is the man who teaches everyone everywhere against our people and our law and this place. And besides, he has brought Greeks into the temple and defiled this holy place.” 29(They had previously seen Trophimus the Ephesian in the city with Paul and assumed that Paul had brought him into the temple.)

30The whole city was aroused, and the people came running from all directions. Seizing Paul, they dragged him from the temple, and immediately the gates were shut. 31While they were trying to kill him, news reached the commander of the Roman troops that the whole city of Jerusalem was in an uproar. 32He at once took some officers and soldiers and ran down to the crowd. When the rioters saw the commander and his soldiers, they stopped beating Paul.

33The commander came up and arrested him and ordered him to be bound with two chains. Then he asked who he was and what he had done. 34Some in the crowd shouted one thing and some another, and since the commander could not get at the truth because of the uproar, he ordered that Paul be taken into the barracks. 35When Paul reached the steps, the violence of the mob was so great he had to be carried by the soldiers. 36The crowd that followed kept shouting, “Get rid of him!”

JOURNAL 

So Paul had a bad day...This was predicted and Paul is facing it head-on...he is not retreating or complaining or whining. This is a life transformed by God, this is a life that has been infused with the spirit and will change the world. 

Today is a glorious day...it is a gift, yet it will only be so if I see it as such. What makes it great are not my circumstances, not what I get to do or don't get to do. What makes it great is that I am here, I am breathing, thinking and have the capacity to make decisions and take action. 

I must always consider that because that is the truth of today. To dismiss it and not embrace it is to make trivial God's gift. To see it as a gift is to approach it with joy and passion. Paul saw the day...knowing he would face persecution and instead of retreating, complaining or whining he walked boldly right into the fire. He could only have done this if he understood the gift of the day, the gift of his life and that his gift to God was his obedience and humility in living and giving his best. 

I am not facing a death mob or any kind of persecution. But rather,  I am facing a day with opportunities in a country that is at peace. I have no excuse not to give my very best in all moments today. To encourage, to love, to work, to seek God in all things. What a glorious day, what a wonderful life. 

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^a whenever you face trials of many kinds,

JAMES 1:2

JULY 19, 2025

   “As an act of goodwill you must sacrifice all the futures you might have for the one that he designs for you.” 

― Dexter Palmer, The Dream of Perpetual Motion

PSALM 28-30

 11You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

12that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.(30:11-12)

ACTS 21:1-14

10After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. 11Coming over to us, he took Paul’s belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, “The Holy Spirit says, ‘In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.’ ”

12When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. 13Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” 14When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, “The Lord’s will be done.”

JOURNAL 

Sacrifice is part of life. In order to live with integrity and passion, it requires giving certain things up. Paul understood this...he was at peace with the reality that in being zealous for Christ and the gospel it would lead to his ultimate death. Yet Paul did not shrink back...he did not moan about how unfair this was or how cruel God could be. This is why James says to consider it "pure joy" to suffer as a result of the gospel. 

Why is this?  Really it is just logical, despite our desires...we can't have everything. You can't go left and right, you can't pursue goodness and evil. If I pursue one path then that means I give up the other. Otherwise, I become a wishy-washy fence straddler and ultimately get nothing. When Jesus tells us to be either hot or cold...that's what he means. In choosing...we surrender. 

That is also why I must be clear-headed in choosing. To do it emotionally without thought is irresponsible and reckless. But to truly consider the paths in front of me and to choose them because I am seeking God is the height of wisdom, love, and power. It gives me confidence, joy and a calm sense of purpose...regardless of the outcome. 

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^a whenever you face trials of many kinds,

JAMES 1:2

JULY 18, 2025

 “The difference between an admirer and a follower still remains, no matter where you are. The admirer never makes any true sacrifices. He always plays it safe. Though in words, phrases, songs, he is inexhaustible about how highly he prizes Christ, he renounces nothing, gives up nothing, will not reconstruct his life, will not be what he admires, and will not let his life express what it is he supposedly admires.” 

― Søren Kierkegaard, Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kierkegaard

PSALM 25-27

13I remain confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the Lord

in the land of the living.

14Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord.(27:13-14)

ACTS 20:17-38

32“Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. 33I have not coveted anyone’s silver or gold or clothing. 34You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. 35In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

JOURNAL 

Kierkegaard’s words sting like truth often does: “The admirer never makes any true sacrifices… he will not let his life express what it is he supposedly admires.”

It makes me pause—have I admired Christ more than I’ve followed Him? Am I more moved by worship lyrics than by the call to surrender my comfort, my preferences, my ego?

Paul’s farewell to the Ephesian elders in Acts 20 is not the sentimental exit of a man clinging to legacy or accolades—it’s the steady resolve of a man who has given everything to the task assigned by Jesus. “I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race.” That’s not admiration. That’s allegiance.

In contrast, I find myself often entangled in distractions—entitled to ease, allergic to discomfort. I live in a world where we have to schedule hardship to keep our bodies from atrophying, where pain feels wrong and sacrifice feels optional. It’s easy to confuse comfort for blessing and leisure for peace. But if I’m not careful, those very comforts dull my hunger for God and replace my obedience with passivity.

Psalm 27 reminds me what real faith looks like: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living... Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart.” Strength and courage are not required for spectators. They’re needed by those who actually step into the arena.

So what does it look like to truly follow—not just admire?

It starts in the morning—with honesty. I come to God not with cleaned-up prayers, but raw ones. I confess what I want. I admit my fears, frustrations, and desires. And then, I lay them down. Not because they’re bad, but because they’re not ultimate. I bring them to the altar so they don't become idols.

Then I remember: life is a gift. Breath is a gift. My mind, my body, my story—it’s all been given so that I can steward it for something greater. “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” Paul reminds the elders. Not just money, but energy. Time. Presence. Purpose.

Only after this kind of surrender am I free to rightly love my family, engage my work, and walk into the world without being owned by it.

Paul knew what was coming. “Prison and hardships await me.” And yet, he pressed on. Not because he was fearless, but because he was faithful. That’s what I want—to reconstruct my life so that it matches what I claim to believe.

Not just songs on Sunday, but sacrifice on Monday.

Not admiration, but obedience.

22“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. 23I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. 24However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

ACTS 20:22-24

JULY 17, 2025

  “Every man gives his life for what he believes. Every woman gives her life for what she believes. Sometimes people believe in little or nothing, and so they give their lives to little or nothing. One life is all we have, and we live it as we believe in living it…and then it’s gone. But to surrender who you are and to live without belief is more terrible than dying...” 

― Jeanne d'Arc

PSALM 22-24

1The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

2He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

3he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake.

4Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,^a

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

5You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

6Surely your goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.(23)

ACTS 20:1-16

7On the first day of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight. 8There were many lamps in the upstairs room where we were meeting. 9Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. 10Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!” 11Then he went upstairs again and broke bread and ate. After talking until daylight, he left. 12The people took the young man home alive and were greatly comforted.

JOURNAL 

“One life is all we have, and we live it as we believe in living it... and then it’s gone.” That line pierces me every time. Jeanne d’Arc spoke it centuries ago, but it still holds weight today. The sobering truth is: everyone gives their life for something—whether it's comfort, status, applause, or eternity. The tragedy isn't death itself; it’s living without conviction. To surrender who you are and live without belief is, as she said, more terrible than dying.

Psalm 23 brings me back to center. “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.” Not I will lack nothing someday—but right now. In Him, I have enough. When I chase approval, comfort, or control, it’s because I’ve forgotten that. But when I surrender my grip and follow the Shepherd, I find peace—even in valleys of shadow and uncertainty.

God doesn't promise the absence of hardship. But He promises presence—“You are with me.” That’s the difference. That’s what emboldens me to live a life that actually means something. A life marked by love, truth, and obedience—not fear or compromise.

Acts 20 gives this image of Paul, pouring out his life until the very last drop—talking until midnight, raising the dead, breaking bread again before dawn. There’s something beautiful in that. He wasn’t trying to preserve his life. He was spending it. And people were comforted not just by his words but by his faith.

I want to live like that. Fully spent. Not for fleeting gain, but for something eternal.

Psalm 23:5 reminds me—“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” That means God doesn’t just rescue me from hardship; He meets me in it. He feeds me, anoints me, refreshes me—not when I’ve escaped the valley, but right there in the thick of it. That’s His goodness. That’s His promise.

Hebrews 10 echoes the call: Don’t throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. Remember the days when the fire burned bright? When faith cost something? You endured... you stood... you suffered... because you knew there was something better. I want that courage again. Not nostalgia, but resolve. Not passive belief, but active surrender.

So today I ask: What am I giving my life to?

And is it worthy?

Because I only get one.

32Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. 33Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. 

HEBREWS 10:32-35