MARCH 31, 2020

“Find your authentic voice, become vulnerable, and then put yourself out there.” 
― Meredith Brooks

JUDGES 3-5

   31“Thus let a
ll Your enemies perish, O LORD;
            But let those who love Him be like the rising of the sun in its might.”
            And the land was undisturbed for forty years.

LUKE 7:31-50

31Jesus went on to say, “To what, then, can I compare the people of this generation? What are they like? 32They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling out to each other:

“ ‘We played the pipe for you,

and you did not dance;

we sang a dirge,

and you did not cry.’

33For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ 34The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ 35But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”

JOURNAL

Upon Israel's rebellion God raises up Judges who continually rescue Israel from the Kings who would enslave them...Jesus answer's the Pharisees criticism.

Being faithful does not mean just modifying behavior.  Because being faithful has nothing to do with pleasing people.  People ultimately cannot be pleased, playing to the crowd and trying to receive affirmation from the world will ultimately lead someone into a narcissistic mess.  I think this is what Jesus was saying in these verses.  Man cannot receive the power and love for his life through the applause, approval and affirmation of others.  

There are times when this can be confusing...especially when juxtaposed to the generally accepted principles of business. Good business says you do a job and you get a just reward.  God says you fail miserably and confess it and I give you the keys to heaven.  Good business says you must earn your way.  God says you must only accept my love. These paradoxes often have caused me to struggle in living out my faith in the midst of our world. 

Why are these God's ways? I think it's because God demands that we come to terms and face our own fallibility, our fears, our insecurities, our double-mindedness. It is the only way that we can be humbled into the acceptance of grace, which is the only way for us to in turn give real love. Once the masks fall and we are loved just as we are, then we no longer HAVE to perform. Performance becomes an expression of our gratitude and love, rather than a desperate pursuit of love. 

This is precisely why the ways of the world can never be confused with the way of the cross. Which is why Jesus calls us to follow him, to do so requires that I acknowledge my need and also accept his love for me...it is then that I discover my own unique voice. I get to stop pretending and can actually settle into my own skin, free to be me, free to go into to the world with my scars, flaws and limitations. No longer am I chained to a life of comparison and wishing for my life to be different  but rather I can embrace all of what makes me...me. It is in this moment that all the things I doubted and feared become my strength, my sins become my proof of grace and I become a force and an expression of the heart of God.  This is the good news and this is the heart of the gospel. 

DAY 16: More and more I am realizing the blessings in my life. I usually try to verbally acknowledge them but being forced into slowing down really causes me to come to terms with all the goodness in my life. I realize how often I just pass right over the simple miracles that happen every single day. This is an amazing time to be alive and I just want to be sure that I fully take it all in...I do realize though that I will miss moments and I will fail to appreciate all of the goodness around me. But for now and today I am truly grateful!!!

5Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”6Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really know me, you will know^b my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” 

JOHN 14:5-7

MARCH 30, 2020

“Most of the evil in this world is done by people with good intentions.”  

~ T.S. Eliot

JUDGES 1-2

20Therefore the Lord was very angry with Israel and said, “Because this nation has violated the covenant I ordained for their ancestors and has not listened to me, 21I will no longer drive out before them any of the nations Joshua left when he died. 22I will use them to test Israel and see whether they will keep the way of the Lord and walk in it as their ancestors did.” 23The Lord had allowed those nations to remain; he did not drive them out at once by giving them into the hands of Joshua.

LUKE 7:1-30

He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: “Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. 7That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. 8For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” 9When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, “I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel.” 10Then the men who had been sent returned to the house and found the servant well.

JOURNAL

I recently was confronted with the idea that people are all doing the best they know how...at first I bristled at this...thinking that so many times I have heard this and said this...when reality was that I knew better and to my estimation I was not.  I continually operated under this idea that I could get control of my actions and be perfect.  Reality is...that has never happened.  In fact what I have continually discovered is that changing behavior is a grueling and difficult process, most often leaving me falling far short of the ideal.  

The reason is because there are so many subtle and sub-conscious things that influence the decisions I make everyday.  My past, my emotions...all derived from ingrained patterns of behavior that I do not fully and consciously understand.  Therefore to think that I can just be convicted and understand right from wrong and then simply choose to do better is a pipe dream. It is far more difficult than that. Because at the end of the day...I can always look back and see where I could have done better, where I failed, where I mailed it in, where I lost focus, where I was selfish, etc. etc......there is always more that could and can be done, always more that could have been given...it never ends. 

So where does that leave me and where does that leave the world. For me...it leaves me at the uncomfortable and vulnerable position of surrendering to God my best behavior and self-righteousness. It humbles me in a way that lets me know all of my righteousness is never enough.  That's why I trust God and cling to a savior...because all my efforts still fall short in the end. The only thing that makes them worthy is Christ himself, the one who takes my feeble offerings and efforts and makes them righteous.   It leaves me in the very simple position of focusing on today, this moment rather than tomorrow. It finally leaves me in the position of gratitude for grace and forgiveness and a God who takes my rags and crumbs and makes them enough.

Soo...thinking back through the idea that people are doing the best they can...I guess I agree and the reality is...that is why people need God and need a savior...because the best we can do is far, far from righteous.

Day 15: I am to report to school this morning for 45 minutes in order to get anything I might need for the rest of the year. I still am having trouble processing this reality at times. It catches me in odd moments when I start to think..."is this really happening?" However one of the benefits of history is that we get to see people, cultures and the world go through really difficult life altering circumstances. They never last forever and ultimately they have an ending. This will be no different. So the question I have been asking myself is how will I remember this time...10, 20 years from now. I think the best hope is that I cling to God and his direction with hope and a sense of positive joy. That doesn't mean being blind or insensitive to the struggles around me but rather that I trust that God will nudge me to the things that he wants me to step into and that I live, work and love where I am, today.  

8When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. 9“This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”

10Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.11The poor you will always have with you,^a but you will not always have me. 12When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. 13Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.”

MATTHEW 26:8-13

MARCH 29, 2020

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

JOSHUA 23-24

14“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” 

LUKE 6:27-49

27“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.32“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

JOURNAL

This passage is one of those that draws a line in the sand as to what will define the believer and Jesus leads it off in his teaching on love.  This fly's in the face of everything that we are taught and that we teach our children in regard to living in our culture. This sort of love and this sort of devotion seems like self-sabotage, not love. Although I have read this passage multiple times it still is like cold water in the face...

It is impossible to live this way without Christ.  In our culture...following and loving this way seems as if it would lead to sure destruction.  Yet Jesus tells us clearly in no uncertain terms that this is how we are to love and this is how we are to live.  

How do we do this?  How do I give to those who hate me?  How do I lend and not expect repayment? How do I allow things to be taken and not ask for them? How do I allow someone to hurt me and continually love them in the face of that hurt?  It is impossible without Christ. I think this is where we truly have to live life one day at a time and trust Christ one moment and one circumstance at a time. 

If this is to be my guide then I need to consult God every day, every moment. I don't have time to worry about the future or the past. I truly believe this is the point...getting us to fully surrender. Getting us to abandon any agenda that does not line up with God's direction for our lives. 

Day 14: Two full weeks now since this really became official. Two weeks ago is when we got the word that school would not be going back to the classroom for 3 weeks. Now we are getting the notices of when we can get in the building, 10 at a time and can only stay for 45 minutes. It's definitely a surreal time in history. It's so important during this time to not become self-consumed. It's so important to reach out through emails, phone calls, texts and check on others. It's also so important to stay tuned into God's direction. I think I am realizing more and more the blessings of our freedom and how I have taken it for granted in so many ways. 

7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. 

GALATIANS 6:7-10

MARCH 28, 2020

“Disasters, he proposed, create a "community of sufferers" that allow individuals to experience an immensely reassuring connection to others”
― Sebastian Junger

JOSHUA 21-22

43So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their ancestors, and they took possession of it and settled there. 44The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their ancestors. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord gave all their enemies into their hands. 45Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled. 

LUKE 6:1-26

 20Looking at his disciples, he said:

“Blessed are you who are poor,

for yours is the kingdom of God.

21Blessed are you who hunger now,

for you will be satisfied.

Blessed are you who weep now,

for you will laugh.

22Blessed are you when people hate you,

when they exclude you and insult you

and reject your name as evil,

because of the Son of Man.

23“Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.

JOURNAL

God gives the Israelites rest...rest from years of struggle and battle and wandering. They now have land and a kingdom in which to live and thrive. Jesus names his key disciples and then begins to give a sermon in the midst of multitudes of people who had come out to hear him and be healed. 

Jesus begins the sermon with a paradox.   Jesus begins this sermon by claiming suffering and persecution as the place of greatest blessing. Who in their right mind would ever see suffering as being blessed. It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when George makes a commitment to do the complete opposite of every decision he normally would make...his reasoning is that if all his decisions in the past have been wrong, then the opposite of those decisions would be right.

It is obviously not that simple...or is it?  If all selfishness ultimately leads to misery...then the opposite would logically seem to be the answer.  Seek to be a servant, to give more than I receive, to embrace suffering instead of running from it.  Seek to love rather than to be loved.  What does a life dedicated to the opposite of having it all look like...I think it looks a lot like Jesus.

Day 13: Thinking through these initial words of Jesus really has a way of changing mindset. In the midst of this world Pandemic its hard to see this as a blessing, who would ever say that? However, I think it's more the fact that when we suffer we need God and in that need we collectively become what God ultimately desires for us. We no longer deal with the pride of controlling our world or seeing ourselves as better than someone else. We are brought together under a common suffering.  

Sebastian Junger wrote a book called Tribe. In it he documented cases upon cases of people bonding together during really difficult circumstances. One of the paradoxes was that when they looked back on those times they considered them as some of the most joyous of their lives.  Who knows how all this ends but it is comforting to know that God sees, God loves and God will always provide a way for love and joy...we must just be willing to trust and follow. 

27And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

 LUKE 14:27

MARCH 27, 2020

“I hope you have not been leading a double life, 

pretending to be wicked and being good all the time.

 That would be hypocrisy.” 

~ Oscar Wilde

JOSHUA 19-20

7So they set apart Kedesh in Galilee in the hill country of Naphtali, Shechem in the hill country of Ephraim, and Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the hill country of Judah. 8East of the Jordan (on the other side from Jericho) they designated Bezer in the wilderness on the plateau in the tribe of Reuben, Ramoth in Gilead in the tribe of Gad, and Golan in Bashan in the tribe of Manasseh. 9Any of the Israelites or any foreigner residing among them who killed someone accidentally could flee to these designated cities and not be killed by the avenger of blood prior to standing trial before the assembly.

LUKE 5:17-39

 27After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. “Follow me,” Jesus said to him, 28and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.29Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. 30But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”31Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

JOURNAL

The Israelites divide up the land between descendants of the 12 tribes and begin establishing rules for governing between the cities. Jesus calls Levi (Matthew) and is criticized for associating with "tax collectors and sinners". God is in the business of redemption.  "Perfect people" equal  arrogant, dishonest messes. It is only in the admitting of needing refuge, help and salvation that we ever get the joy found in Christ.  I love that Jesus never mixes words here, in fact he confronts the bearers of shame head on. Jesus sees that one of the greatest enemies to the joy of salvation is the shame heaped upon the people by the Pharisees. Jesus doesn't need their approval or to be in their ring of acceptance.  He goes to where the deepest need is...the rejects and sinners. This is where he hangs out...this is where he spends his time.

Jesus shows time and time again that we don't need to pretend or hide. He knows us, knows our deepest secrets, our worst thoughts, our hidden agendas and that's where he wants to spend his time, that's where he wants to connect first. That is so amazing and so freeing.  This is the beauty and brilliance of Jesus' words...they are far deeper than the initial surface. They go to the heart of every human who reads them. They go to the heart but not just to expose but rather to heal.

Day 12: So yesterday it is confirmed that we won't be going back to school for the rest of the year. Of course the first thing some kids will think is ...5 months of summer vacation. Yet this is going to be a really tough situation for many kids. Not because of what they will or won't learn for 2 months but because their situation at home is really difficult and it's about to get even more difficult, if it hasn't already. I know from working through some of my own issues in therapy that isolation is one of the worst things for anxiety, depression and many mental issues. For those that lose their jobs and are stuck at home...this becomes a toxic mix and recipe for abuse and addictive behaviors. Then for those who are fortunate and can still work...their children will be left alone and isolated and that free time without any authority is going to open them up to all kinds of destructive possibilities. 

Thinking through some of my students, my heart really hurts for their situation and it's only going to get worse over the coming weeks. This is where I really have to lean into scripture and trust that this doesn't surprise God and to also be mindful of any way of loving and reaching out to those who need it. 

27“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. 

MATTHEW 23:27-28

MARCH 26, 2020

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” 

~ Elinor Roosevelt

JOSHUA 16-18

3So Joshua said to the Israelites: “How long will you wait before you begin to take possession of the land that the Lord, the God of your ancestors, has given you?

LUKE 5:1-16

8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” 9For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners.

Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.” 11So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.

JOURNAL

God's command is to go and do, from the Israelites taking possession of the land to Peter dropping his nets and catching fish.  God is first about faith but then about action.  Peter realizes the power of Jesus and is overcome with shame and fear. Jesus rebukes this in telling him not to be afraid.

I have found in life that those two demons (fear and shame) haunt me more than any other. From what I understand about our brains and psychology. These two have a way of haunting us because they are rooted in our primitive brain and can be traced back to some of our earliest memories. They typically put us into fight, flight  or freeze mode. .

Day 11: Each day it seems that the reports of the virus get closer and closer to being a reality. The numbers climbing in Alabama, Shelby county and now more stories of people I know contracting it. The likelihood is that it will get worse before it gets better and that reality creates a level of fear. Yet God commands us to fear not.  The command to "not fear" is used over 365 times in the Bible. I don't think this means that we are to avoid the feeling or to suppress it...it means that we are not to allow it to control us. We are to wade through it, face it and ultimately conquer it.

Yet that doesn't just happen because I want it to happen, actions must be taken knowing that I will face fears and circumstances that I will not be able to control. It is imperative that I daily prepare my mind and heart for the reality of facing fear and anxiety. It does not mean distracting myself or surrendering to worry and panic. It does mean surrendering to God, embracing joy and taking action. It is a discipline and as with every discipline there are going to be moments and times when my emotions are going to be contrary to what God asks of me. Yet as always God promises that if I will proceed and walk into the darkness he  will be right there with me and will see me through.

4Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,^a

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me. 

Psalm 23:4

MARCH 25, 2020

“Be steady and well-ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.” 

 ~ Gustave Flaubert

JOSHUA 14, 15

10“Now then, just as the Lord promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the wilderness. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! 11I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. 12Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day.

LUKE 4:33-44

42At daybreak, Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for him and when they came to where he was, they tried to keep him from leaving them. 43But he said, “I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.” 44And he kept on preaching in the synagogues of Judea.

JOURNAL

This is such a beautiful picture into the life of Christ. He was the Son of God, the Messiah and yet he never rested in that title, he was disciplined and never content to sit and be worshiped. He had important work to do and he diligently saw to do it.

Work is one of the great blessings of life.  Yet there are so many things in culture that play up the allure of retirement. As if one day when you are no longer "working" life will then be full of joy.  The here and now is where God has me and it is where the opportunity for love, generosity, kindness and passion exist. The reality is that I am where I am. I can either consider it a blessing from God and look at every moment as an opportunity to learn, to serve, to give or to teach.  Or I can long for something I may never get all the while wasting the gift of today.

I believe the key is balance...there should be times of rest. There are also going to be moments of sadness, frustration and heartache. But that is just part of the beauty of life. We can't avoid it and if we extend extreme effort to do so...then we risk numbing our lives in ways that can harm us and those around us. I am where I am this moment today.


Day 10: Things continue to get worse around the world. Prognosticators continue to forecast demise both from a human and financial perspective. It is exhausting to emotionally read and process.Yet what I take from scripture again is to live today...not tomorrow.

 23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 

COLOSSIANS 3:23-24

MARCH 24, 2020

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” 

― Jalaluddin Rumi

JOSHUA 11-13

18Joshua waged war against all these kings for a long period of time. 19No city made peace with the Israelites except the Hivites living in Gibeon; all others were taken in battle. 20For it was of the LORD to hardend their hearts to engage Israel in battle, so that they would be set apart for destruction and would receive no mercy, being annihilated as the LORD had commanded Moses.(11:18-20)

LUKE 4:1-32

14Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. 15He was teaching in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.

16He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, 17and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:

18“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

19to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”^f

20Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. 21He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

22All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?” they asked.

JOURNAL 

Again the intent and mission of Joshua can not be mistaken...Destroy every Kingdom. In this one chapter we see Jesus directed into the desert where he stays for 40 days and successfully resists temptation from Satan. Jesus then heads to Galille where all seems to be falling into place...he is making a good name for his family and people are amazed at his intellect and teaching. Well it's all about to turn...in a few verses they are ready to push him off a cliff.  What a clear picture of our lives...one day all is well and the next it seems on the brink of disaster. What can I learn from this? That the only truly safe place is in obedience to God. As far as the world goes it may mean good favor from the world or it may mean scorn, ridicule and death. What I receive from the world should not be my motivation. My circumstance can never be my measure. 

Day 9: With all the political rhetoric, it is dizzying and I find that I just need to excuse myself from the insanity and engage in things which I have a capacity to influence...my family, friends, neighbors etc. It's encouraging to see how things change so quickly for Jesus and that he is not immune to the changing winds of public opinion, therefore focusing on the fruits of his spirit is more than enough for all I need today. 

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance,kindness,goodness,faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 

GALATIANS 5:22-26