NOVEMBER 30, 2016

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints
on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.” 
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Voices of the Night

EZEKIEL 43-44

23They are to teach my people the difference between the holy and the common and show them how to distinguish between the unclean and the clean.(44:23) 

2 PETER 2

17These people are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. Blackest darkness is reserved for them. 18For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of the flesh, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error.

JOURNAL 

When life is really lived well...it is lived in consciousness of others.To live without regard for the influence one may have on another human being is to live carelessly. God makes it very clear that once he inhabits our hearts and souls then we represent him to the world. This is definitely a sobering reality. 

8I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

PSALM 32:8

NOVEMBER 29, 2016

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

EZEKIEL 41-42

1Then the man brought me to the main hall and measured the jambs; the width of the jambs was six cubits^a on each side.^b2The entrance was ten cubits^c wide, and the projecting walls on each side of it were five cubits^d wide. He also measured the main hall; it was forty cubits long and twenty cubits wide.^e(41:1-2) 

2 PETER 1

3His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

10Therefore, my brothers and sisters,^a make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

JOURNAL 

I guess in many ways I grew up with a delusional belief in God. I think it was mainly because preachers tended to use scripture for manipulative purposes. They tended to paint a picture of the Christian life as one that resulted in health, wealth and success. They painted a picture of an idyllic life and basically said that if people would commit to it and give willingly to the church then everything would work out for them in life. Their prayers would be answered and their dreams would come true. They also gave the contrast as a warning and a way to cast judgement on others...for if you weren't committed to God then you would be beset by suffering, failure and problems. 

Based on scripture what I find is that it's actually the opposite when you apply it to this world. We are only promised Heaven when we get to Heaven. We are promised Hell when we get to Hell. What happens here is a grab bag of chance and circumstance. There is scripture that confirms that some people will enjoy long life and success and wealth while on earth...even though they are selfish, greedy and full of hate. There is also scripture that confirms that those that follow God will experience, suffering, rebuke, rejection and horrible death. 

Jesus, the disciples, Paul...all of these people lived an absolute hell on earth. They hoped in something far beyond them, far beyond their own lives and even beyond the lives of their wives, children, friends etc. They hoped and lived for a future kingdom where love and joy ruled. Where happiness would never be measured by how much money or toys you had but rather because you were free to love and serve others. 

Since I have been reading the Bible I have experienced a lot of confusion, anger and disillusionment with the modern "church". I have struggled to reconcile my reading of scripture with my own experiences and what I often find is a severe disconnect. This is within myself as well as the organization of the churches I have been a part of. I don't say this to bash or bemoan but rather simply being honest about my own experience. 

When I read the letters of Paul and Peter and the words of Jesus I find that they are calling believers to a life of extreme sacrifice, service and love. A life I definitely do not live and one that I don't see others living either. Often it feels as if we have taken the parts of scripture that serve us in our current circumstances in living our modern comfortable life and rejected all those that would call that life into question. 

Even the two choices we had for president seemed to represent nothing but extreme greed and selfishness. Yet somehow I justify my vote...because to not would mean that I would be opposed to all that they represent and ultimately opposed to my community and my life within this community. Many times when I reach this point I become bitter and angry and feel like tossing in the towel. Yet the miracle of God and scripture is that he always calls me back from the ledge...always reminds me that I am here for a reason and to rest in his love. Always comforts me with the lives of my boys, the love of my wife and family and the fact that everywhere I turn I can find evidence of God's grace and love. I find it within my own heart and soul and see it clearly in the gratitude, grace, forgiveness and love of others...and yes even in the modern church. 

There is evil in the world...we are promised that it will exist until the earth is completely restored, we can find it everywhere, but we also are promised that God is everywhere and he will never leave us. It is in this promise that I find joy and comfort and the ability live another day in the hope and strength of God's power and love. 

27Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

JOHN 14:27

NOVEMBER 28, 2016

“The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.” 
― Ted Hughes, Letters of Ted Hughes

EZEKIEL 40

1In the twenty-fifth year of our exile, at the beginning of the year, on the tenth of the month, in the fourteenth year after the fall of the city—on that very day the hand of the Lord was on me and he took me there. 2In visions of God he took me to the land of Israel and set me on a very high mountain, on whose south side were some buildings that looked like a city. 3He took me there, and I saw a man whose appearance was like bronze; he was standing in the gateway with a linen cord and a measuring rod in his hand. 4The man said to me, “Son of man, look carefully and listen closely and pay attention to everything I am going to show you, for that is why you have been brought here. Tell the people of Israel everything you see.”(40:1-4) 

1 PETER 5

1To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: 2Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; 3not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. 4And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

5In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud

but shows favor to the humble.”^a

6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

8Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

JOURNAL 

Here is Peter writing to those who have been displaced and who are struggling. Here he writes as a witness to all that Christ suffered. Here he writes as one who devoted his life and spent it intimately with Christ. These final words of the letter are sobering and a reminder that we are here for a purpose and to do a job. We are here to serve, we are here to be examples and to encourage. We are here to be humble and submit. We are here to do not get...although he promises that God will restore us...we will get everything we ever deeply desired...which is union with God. 

The past few days I have been struck by the brevity of life and that any moment may be my last. I thought about all the times I have shrunk back from problems and challenges. I thought of all the times anxiety and insecurity got the best of me. What if that had been my last breath. What if that had been the message of my life. That thought terrifies me because it is so final. When my last breath occurs on this planet, I will not be able to have another one. It will be final and so what do I want it to be spent doing? 

In thinking through this I was reminded of a lesson I learned when I was a sophomore in high school. It was during half time of a football game. I was making my second start at quarterback and we were getting beat handily. I had been saked several times and I was becoming gunshy. I had begun focusing on the rush rather than completing the play. It was causing me to hesitate and hold onto the ball.

As I sat there nursing my bruises the thought occurred that I was going to be hit regardless of whether I held onto the ball or threw it...either way I was getting hit. A calm came over me when I realized that I could do this...I could step into the teeth of the rush and deliver the pass. Yes I would get hit but maybe I could still make a play. In that moment I changed...I became a different player. I no longer struggled with the fear of being hit. 

Looking back...that is one of the lessons and experiences I cherish most of my football career. It didn't change the outcome of the game...we still lost but the reality is...I won. I conquered a fear and it led to me being a better player and in the future I was able to help my team win games, because I was no longer afraid to take a hit.

This is precisely what we are asked to do everyday as believers. We are asked to step up, serve and take hits. One thing that will prevent us from being all that God created us to be is fear of the opposition, fear of being hit, fear of losing ______ fill in the blank. Once we are able to reconcile that we are gonna lose it regardless, we are going to be hit and face difficulties regardless, then I think in that moment we can change. We can let go of the fear and step into all that God has called us to do and be. 

17Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

ACTS 9:17-19

NOVEMBER 27, 2016

“True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline.” 
― Mortimer J. Adler, How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading

EZEKIEL 38-39

25“Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will now restore the fortunes of Jacob^d and will have compassion on all the people of Israel, and I will be zealous for my holy name. 26They will forget their shame and all the unfaithfulness they showed toward me when they lived in safety in their land with no one to make them afraid. 27When I have brought them back from the nations and have gathered them from the countries of their enemies, I will be proved holy through them in the sight of many nations. 28Then they will know that I am the Lord their God, for though I sent them into exile among the nations, I will gather them to their own land, not leaving any behind. 29I will no longer hide my face from them, for I will pour out my Spirit on the people of Israel, declares the Sovereign Lord.”(39:25-29) 

1 PETER 4

 Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

JOURNAL 

I cannot run from scripture...well I can but I can't. This is hard stuff...this calls on the carpet all my deep inner longings and wishes. This forces me to face myself and the part of me that just wants to run and hide, also the part of me that wants vengeance and the part of me that just wants peace at all cost. To face the music and the tough challenges of every day with love and using my gifts to bless others is impossible. It is impossible for me to do this without God's spirit. It is impossible to strike out on my own and do this just for me...for that would be insane. 

To truly live this out requires a surrender of all those parts of me that are defensive and driven to protect myself. This is the beauty of scripture...this is the beauty of truly reading and meditating on God's word...the whole word and not just the parts that I emotionally need today. 

Today was hard sledding and it has blessed me! I surrendered to the discipline and God's word and his love and spirit came through as they always do.

16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

EPHESIANS 3:16-19

NOVEMBER 26, 2016

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” 
― Mark Twain

EZEKIEL 36-37

33“ ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: On the day I cleanse you from all your sins, I will resettle your towns, and the ruins will be rebuilt. 34The desolate land will be cultivated instead of lying desolate in the sight of all who pass through it. 35They will say, “This land that was laid waste has become like the garden of Eden; the cities that were lying in ruins, desolate and destroyed, are now fortified and inhabited.” 36Then the nations around you that remain will know that I the Lord have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. I the Lord have spoken, and I will do it.’(36:33-36) 

1 PETER 3

8Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,

“Whoever would love life

and see good days

must keep their tongue from evil

and their lips from deceitful speech.

11They must turn from evil and do good;

they must seek peace and pursue it.

12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous

and his ears are attentive to their prayer,

but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”^a

JOURNAL 

To "repay evil with blessing" is a tall order and completely foreign in our world. To really seek to bless those who do evil...in many ways is an unthinkable action in our society and in our world. We are quick to accuse and demand retribution. We are quick to disassociate ourselves from those who do us harm. We are quick to wish harm and punishment for those who betray or wrong us...that is a far cry from blessing. 

So how would this really play out in our world in my life? I think it starts with prayer and it starts with the heart. To search my heart and to let go of my anger and secret desire for revenge. This is hard because when I really am honest with myself...I don't wish for blessing on those who have harmed me or "wronged" me. I wish for blessings for me and those I love and I wish harm on those that are a threat or those I deemed to be evil or wrong. I think this is normal and this is how most people operate. When I look at scripture I see the same thoughts and desires...especially in the Old Testament.

But then I look to the New Testament and all that changes...Jesus' sermon on the mount gives a completely different take on how we are to behave and how we are to love. It turns my natural desires and conventional wisdom on its head. It demands that we "love our enemies". Oh how far away from this is my heart...yet I know that although God forgives my sin and anger and secret thoughts...he demands that I turn from them and follow him down a different path.

Yet I almost must realize that turning from this requires not only forgiveness of my enemies but also forgiveness of myself. In many ways I have been my own worst enemy at times. My actions have caused more heartache to me and others than anything anyone else has done. Therefore since Christ has forgiven me I must first forgive myself...then I MUST forgive others...

43“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighborⁱ and hate your enemy.’ 44But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

MATTHEW 5:43-48

NOVEMBER 25, 2016

“Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering.” 
― Theodore Roosevelt

EZEKIEL 34-35

 30Then they will know that I, the Lord their God, am with them and that they, the Israelites, are my people, declares the Sovereign Lord. 31You are my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign Lord.’ ” (34:30-31) 

1 PETER 2

1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

JOURNAL 

In all honesty I struggle to crave God's word. There are days when this is the desire of my heart but there are way too many when this is not the primary emotion and desire. I know growing up in the church this was a huge struggle of mine. I didn't see people openly struggle in their faith. It was mostly all smiles, sunshine and rainbows. I often doubted and wondered why my experience was different. I felt that there must be something wrong with me or that my experience of God must not be genuine. 

Then as I got older I realized that behind those smiles was struggle, heartache and real pain. It caused me to really question everything. I felt deceived and duped and the thought crept in that maybe it was all just a big hoax. I thought that maybe the Bible and Christianity was just a way to take people's money and manipulate them. It was during this time that I first began to really read the Bible...I wanted to know the truth, I wanted to get to the bottom of all my questions.

What I found was real people...struggling, sinning, failing...yet still being forgiven and loved by God.  I read about murderers and adulterers. I read about liars and thieves. I read about those that were immensely rich and those that were destitute. Yet they all struggled, they all hurt and none of them ever really escaped this world unscathed. Heartache, struggle and pain were the commonality among them all. 

This was such a dramatic contrast to the outward appearance of many of the people who claimed to follow Christ in my world. It was very disorienting to me and still sometimes is...especially when I find myself doing the very same. Yet there was something that was different for those with whom God had become their God. Although they struggled they had a hope that sustained them in ways that was inspiring. They still experienced joy in the midst of heartache, they gave though they had nothing to give, they loved those that hated them and forgave without demanding retribution. 

Around a year ago I had a conversation with someone on why I follow God. As I dug into this question honestly, I realized that my faith is because of the authentic mess of the lives of those in the Bible. It is because of their contradictions and struggles that I am able to identify and have hope. It is because their lives are laid open and I am able to really see the mess that allows me to really believe in the joy. It is because I am able to see the struggle that allows me to have faith in their redemption. 

As I come back around to these verses...I can better understand Peter's letter. He has struggled, he has failed, he has betrayed...he has been there and experienced it and come out the other side. He is not writing this from a pompous position of ease and comfort, he is writing this as one who is struggling and will continue to struggle. It is in this struggle that I find comfort, that I find hope and that I can experience the warmth and joy of my savior. 

4As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him— 5you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house^a to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6For in Scripture it says:

“See, I lay a stone in Zion,

a chosen and precious cornerstone,

and the one who trusts in him

will never be put to shame.”^b

1 PETER 2:4-6